Keeping kids in bed

[lifesteeth]

I have alot of trouble with my 6 year old in terms of behaviour but one of the biggest things I want to change before I can work on the other stuff is getting him into bed at a sensible time and more importantly, getting him to sleep.

I want him to go to bed between 7pm and 7.30pm so he has a bath before hand and a bed time drink of milk and then I take him up...as soon as I leave the room he gets up and gets his toys out. I go in and get him back into bed, he waits for ten minutes or so and then gets up again...I have this until 10pm most nights so he doesnt get to sleep very often before 10:30pm.

I'm desperate to get him into a proper bed time routine, I want him asleep before 8pm.

Any ideas?

Is he tired during the day and/or does he have trouble getting up in the morning?
Different children have widely differing sleep needs - do you say 8pm becase it's the amount of sleep you think he needs or because it's when you think he 'should' be in bed?
And what happens if you don't go back in and put him in bed? Would he go to bed by himself after 20min or so playing if you didn't?

I say 8pm because I think at 6 he should be getting to sleep no later really... he often does sleep in a morning, some school mornings I have to drag him out of bed so we're not late.

If I left him playing he would just sneek out of the bedroom and end up downstairs, messing about in the bathroom etc...

a six year old should be getting more sleep than that. What about getting to bedroom for 7pm, telling him he can play or read for 30 minutes, then strict lights out then? Or 730, for 8?
I sometimes have to sit outside my girls room to ensure they stop playing and go to sleep - they are 5 and 2. Most nights in beds by 7, alseep by 730

Is this a new phase or has it been going on a while. My 6 year olds used to be sparko as soon as their heads hit the pillow but the last few weeks it has taken them much longer to drop off. I don't mind them playing in their room and then putting themselves to bed later, but there is a strict rule that they do not come downstairs, unless there is flood, fire or sickness .

warn him once. that his toys will be taken out of his room and he wont have them back the next day - but the day after.

warn him twice

remove his toys from the room

will it create a mess? yes. will you have problems putting them all in your room? probably.

do it.

Agree with custy. I think you need to decide how much sleep he needs, what time you want him to get up in the morning, and then decide the appropriate bedtime from there and then follow custy's plan. I have a 6yo and there is no way he would be doing this.

I think 7 7.30 is probably a bit early now the nights are getiing lighter, my ds is 6, and at the moment goes up between 8.30 and 9. I find around 7 he's really full of beans, but then we turn the lights out and chill for an hour watching tv or reading and then tell him 9 o'clock horses are on their way, it never fails.

What happens if you say he can play but he's not allowed out of his bedroom? Dos he put himself to bed sooner or later? I ask because sometimes my 6 year old does this - I don't think it's any use trying to force them to go to sleep if they're not ready but you can expect them to stay in their rooms. I know my ds sometimes gets up and plays, because the room is covered in toys in the morning, but he's quiet and puts himself to bed at some stage. I think some children just need less sleep than others.

Apart from that, have you tried a story tape? There are some lovely ones around at the moment - my dd(11) still goes to sleep listening to the story cd she had when she was 4.

I like hana's idea.
Spell out the 'rules'. Tell him , 1/2 an hour of playing then lights out. he is 6. He understands. Can accept the responsibility. at 7.30 ( or whatever time you choose) you may need to shout out, lights off now. There should be no negotiation. He just does it and gets into bed.

Do you think he would like that / respond to that ?

second the storytapes idea - we discovered them when dd2 was a baby ( and bedtimes were fraught with stress getting 2 to bed....) dd1 still loves them and we have amassed quite a collection