Bikinis for 5 year olds?

[AnotherAnnoyingMother]

What to do. We stayed with my 5 year old daughter's godparents this weekend and went swimming. Their 6 year old wore a bikini and in my absence her godmother 'promised' her a bikini as a Christmas or a birthday present. I am afraid I am in the 'not putting young girls in bikinis' camp and feel unhappy about this. I intimated this albeit gently in her presence but now think she may give her one. If I take it away or don't allow it to be worn I feel like I will be punishing her and be put in a difficult position. I still won't let her wear it but would any of you even consider giving a bikini to another persons young daughter?

Personally I would not allow my 6 year old to wear one however no one should be looking at a child in a sexual way anyhow.

Why oh why does female clothing always come with such baggage you'd never hear this conversation about boys clothing!!

And I am totally gobsmacked that on the Mumsnet Facebook post people have used the work 'provocative' I mean wtf? So a child wearing a bikini is provoking a reaction?!!! That's a fairly sick way to think.

This reminds me we were given a teeny triangle style string bikini for DD1 when she was one. It was never worn, she was still wearing a swim nappy for her swimming lessons. Completely impractical (the bottoms were too tiny to fit a swim nappy in) and not age appropriate (no need to cover her non-existent boobs).

Sorry don't get what's wrong with a bikini at all. They're not suggestive or inappropriate in my view. You can get some very pretty sweet ones.

When did not putting little girls in bikinis become a thing?? DD wore bikinis in the early 00s and I wore them as a child in the late 70s/early 80s. Nobody batted an eyelid because bikinis aren't a sexual item, they're beachwear. If you think there's something sexual about a little girl wearing a bikini then there's something wrong with you imo.

To be fair Lady it’s not a new concept. That fact that you wore one doesn’t mean that your family’s view was universal.

My own Mum didn’t allow me to wear a bikini in the seventies or eighties because she didn’t think it was appropriate.

I wasn't ever given bikinis as a child. I either wore just bottoms or a swimming costume. My mother thought adult style clothing on a child was not appropriate. I think not because she necessarily thought it would actually provoke anyone 😐 But more because she generally didn't like 'adultification'. No doubt that affects my world view so I wouldn't dress my four year old in an adult style bikini (string/triangles) any more than I would put her in an adult style cocktail dress rather than a kids party dress. I don't like the look. Some of the children's style ones seem fine to me but I don't see the point in the top really. I want her to be able to run and jump freely without some unnecessary item getting in the way... that said I wouldn't die in a ditch over it.

Oh and to the poster who asked about distinction in 'covering up' with a bikini and swimming costume I see the logic as broadly being that a bikini top is covering up non existent boobs so in that sense is 'adult' and unnecessary (if you are my mother). Whereas a swimming costume has a practical function as doesn't come off if you are swimming or jumping etc (unlike plain bottoms).

I've tried everything with my DD from one piece to uv suit to two piece.

It depends on where you're swimming but I will now only have her in bikini bottoms and UV rash vest on holiday. It's so much easier for toilet etc. One piece with uv vest is unnecessarily difficult for her especially when wet, uv or wet suit difficult too.

She wears a swimming costume to the regular pool but that's just because we have one of each.

If it's unnecessary don't wear the top half. Sure a young child would probably just take it off anyway

But it's silly to assign all this adult connotations to the eventual existence of breasts and over analysing every piece if girls swim wear and underwear

No one ever says this about boys stuff. Never. They go to a shop crap a pair and leave. The word "inappropriate" never crops up.

Only of course when people go all "Margaret white" over crop tops and bikinis.

Grab

I wouldnt care. Its just swimwear. I dont know why people sexualise swimwear so much. I find bikinis and tankinis much more practical than one pieces and my daughter wanted one when she was little probably because i had one, so i got her one and she loved it for a year and then decided she preferred wearing just the bottoms. Now shes older she prefers board shorts and rash vests.

All of you saying "it's not sexualised - it's just swimwear" - there's a huge difference between a two piece swimsuit (which I agree is more practical for the loo and such) and a bikini.

A bikini is an adult costume designed for someone with breasts. The bra top of a bikini is designed to both cover up and showcase breasts. I personally think a child with just pants and no top is less sexualised than a child with a teeny bikini top on, because the teeny bikini top indicates that there's something to cover up. (But my preference is for a pants and top that covers up the shoulders, to stop sunburn).

There's no such thing as "just" clothes - clothes have for millennia been designed to signal all sorts of things, including age, status, marriageability and so on. It's a multi-million pound business. Whether you recognise it or not, every bit of clothing you wear says something about you to the people around you, and putting a skimpy bikini top on a small child sexualises that small child. I find it really disturbing that some of you don't see this.

But small child isn't sexual. That interpretation says more about the person thinking it than than a child's clothes say about the child.

And this is the trouble. People assign adult thoughts to Innocent child actions/clothing.

A bikini is a bikini why are you insinuating people are trying to specialise themselves by wearing one.are you saying that every woman who wears a bikini does so to look a certain way for other people? Do you think that little of women that everything they do has to be about advertising themselves to men?

Maybe if people spent less time analysing what people could interpret from their clothing and more time just getting on with their own lives we wouldn't be at a point where a child can't even wear an innocent outfit without it apparently meaning something...

www.sportsdirect.com/character-swimsuit-infant-girls-350479?colcode=35047988

Please enlighten me as to what this says about a child

But small child isn't sexual. That interpretation says more about the person thinking it than than a child's clothes say about the child.

So you'd be OK putting fishnets on a four year old, Gileswithachainsaw? They are only tights, after all. Why can't you be OK with a child wearing tights?

AKA don't be bloody ridiculous. A small child isn't sexual, that's the point, which is why putting sexualised clothing designed for adults on small children is weird and dodgy.

With the usual "assuming this is real" caveat...

No, I would not put a bikini on a 5yo. I would bin any such present. The godmother overstepped the mark. (I think I'd also be re-thinking my choice of godmother, if this is the person to whom you entrust your child's spiritual guidance...!)

But they aren't designed for adults they are child bikinis and look very much like child bikinis.

And Why would you view swimwear as sexualized clothing. In a pool and on a beach it's just that. Swim wear. Don't know abiut you bit I don't really take the blindest bit of notice what a person is wearing in a pool or on the beach. Cos I'm quite capable of not walking round all the time as some kind of permanently aroused freak thinking every inch of exposed flesh is designed to make me want to do things...

Nobody batted an eyelid because bikinis aren't a sexual item, they're beachwear. If you think there's something sexual about a little girl wearing a bikini then there's something wrong with you imo.

They are sexual - they are sexulaising the little girls nipples and drawing attention to the fact you deem then sexual and requiring a covering. Otherwise you'd just put her in pant wouldn't you?

Also completely impractical - ride up, harder to sun cream.

I personally think a child with just pants and no top is less sexualised than a child with a teeny bikini top on, because the teeny bikini top indicates that there's something to cover up. (But my preference is for a pants and top that covers up the shoulders, to stop sunburn).

^this

Please enlighten me as to what this says about a child

The say to me about the parent "I'm a bit dim and believe that it is more important for my baby girl to look preeeeety than to be able to enjoy herself swimming or playing"

Or it says "oh she loves the little mermaid"

What it doesn't say is "look at me aren't I sexy"

Theres plenty of clothing thats impractical uncomfortable and I'd not put my kid in. Bit that's bit what people have been saying is it?

Omg this topic is done to death! The pearl clutches are determined to see a bikini as sexual and provocative. No I wouldn’t put fishnets on a child, they aren’t “just tights” can’t say I’ve ever seen a stripper in a minion bikini. It’s a two piece swim suit, yes it covers the chest, as does a one piece swim suit!