I can't cope.

[DeleteOrDecay]

I have 2 dd’s age 4 and 2 and I just can’t cope at the moment. It’s generally fine whilst dd1 is at school. Dd2 is a handful but I can manage when it’s just her. It’s when dd1 comes home from school that all hell breaks loose.

It seems like the minute my back is turned, they are doing something they shouldn’t, climbing/jumping on the sofa, climbing the cats tree, using their chairs to stand on and reach things they shouldn’t, fighting amongst each other, screaming at the top of their lungs (not great when dp is sleeping after a night shift).

I can’t handle it. I can’t even make dinner without some huge drama. Doing dd1’s reading practice is impossible without dd2 clambering all over me (even if I set up a separate activity for her to do). I end up shouting more than I’d like because nothing else seems to work, but then I feel crap because shouting doesn’t work either. We have ‘the step’, I give warnings, I remove privileges such as tv/tablet, nothing works. Sooner or later they are back to doing the behaviour I asked them not to and have subsequently punished them for. It really sets off my anxiety, which obviously doesn’t help matters as it makes me uptight as well.

I do sometimes take them to the park or soft play after school for an hour which helps, but it’s not possible to do that everyday.

I’m starting to dread the afternoons. I never wanted to be the grumpy, shouty Mum. But here I am. I appreciate that this is all normal behaviour which is why I feel like I’m failing.

I could have written this post.

Mine are 4, 2 and 2 and whilst the days with 2+2 are hard, after school is just impossible.

I live for naptime and they eat before nonsense because it’s all I have time to prepare.

“This too shall pass” is all that keeps me going!

You are not alone. I am exactly the same too. The worst thing is that don't know how I got here. I used to be the most chilled out person before having children. Even an apocalypse wouldn't make me so much as bat an eyelid. But now....now I feel like my heart is going to beat itself straight out of my chest of every minute of everyday. I actually get angry at my eldest DC(3)-what kind of person gets angry with a three year old. I am constantly tell people off, telling them what to do, worrying about things not being done, getting fed up and doing things that someone else be doing myself. It's just awful. BUT, it is starting to get better. My eldest is starting to get more independent, my husband is also becoming less of a baby. I've also become a lot better at just saying no to everyone and retreating into myself for five minutes of peace when I need it. I'm sure that it will get better for you too OP. Just gang in there, your DD will be at school soon too. It will get better. For both of us.