Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Student daughter just had surprise baby - help!

20 replies

Mumof3dogs · 07/10/2017 05:27

Just that
On my way to see her now . What do we do - what are her rights etc?
Boyfriend pressuring her to have baby adopted, can she oppose it and keep bay and force him to pay for her ?
Also what about housing as she will probably lose student housing so have no where to live - should council house her?
This is all made so much harder as we live abroad - mid Europe!
Any thoughts/ experience welcome!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Out2pasture · 07/10/2017 05:31

universities often have daycare and facilities for parent and child, start there unless she doesn't want to continue with her studies.
is your daughter from the uk or her partner?

Chottie · 07/10/2017 05:31

Please just go and give your daughter a hug and tell her that you love her...

Then, let her tell you what her plans for the future are. Listen and support her in her decisions.

She's probably feeling very vulnerable now.

AdalindSchade · 07/10/2017 05:33

She can’t be forced to adopt the baby and yes she can get him to pay maintenance eventually.
this happens more often then you’d think. My team had 3 surprise babies to students in 2016.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
HollyBollyBooBoo · 07/10/2017 05:33

Oh my gosh what a shock for everyone, I hope she's ok?

Is she in mid Europe or when you say we do you mean you? I only ask as it'll change the advice on what's she's entitled to.

In UK, As the mother of the child she has automatic parental rights. The father of the child (assuming they are not married) does not unless he is named on the birth certificate. Of course he can't force her to give the child up.

tocas · 07/10/2017 05:35

What exactly do you mean by "surprise"?

Being with her and supporting her day to day is the most important thing you can do right now Flowers

Original poster
Mumof3dogs · 07/10/2017 05:50

We live in Europe, we are from the uk . She is at university in the uk
Surprise means she found out 3 weeks ago , then found out too far to have abortion . Then before chance to have care she gave birth on weds
Will find out more when I get there

OP posts:
Out2pasture · 07/10/2017 05:53

Congratulations Easter Smile

Raisinbrain · 07/10/2017 05:57

I had a baby as a student back in 2005. I was allowed housing benefit and income support as a single parent. I lived in a two bedroom terrace house. The university offered heavily subsidised childcare and a year off. All very doable. The benefits system has changed since then though.
Congratulations Flowers

Raisinbrain · 07/10/2017 05:58

Never received a penny from the baby’s father though! Thanks CSA.

Afreshstartplease · 07/10/2017 06:04

What a shock!

Congratulations to your dd though

Of course she should keep her baby if thats what she wants to do!

bakingcupcakes · 07/10/2017 06:39

This happened to my friend on an 18-30 holiday in our 1st year of uni. Her Mum had to go and collect her and the baby from Spain! She took a year out and claimed benefits then went back. Dad didn't pay anything though.

Congratulations! Flowers When will you get there?

donajimena · 07/10/2017 06:44

Congratulations. She can probably stay at university. I'm in Wales so it might be slightly different but here you get maintenance loan, special support grant housing benefit plus other child related benefits that you would receive anyway.
I can't speak for now but a return next year is definitely possible.

PotteringAlong · 07/10/2017 06:46

She gave birth on Wednesday? It's Saturday! Why were you not there on Thursday? If you're mid Europe you literally could have driven to her quicker!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 07/10/2017 06:55

force him to pay for her ?

She can't "force" him to pay her, no, and thank god. He shouldn't have to fund the mother of his baby's lifestyle for the next X amount of years.

She can however go through official channels to try and get maintenance off him, which he should rightly pay.

However, the maintenance is for the baby, not for your daughter, so she still needs to support herself.

supersop60 · 07/10/2017 07:19

what - I think that's what OP meant - maintenance for the baby, not for its mother.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/10/2017 07:21

Has she registered the birth? It would be wise not to put his name on the birth certificate. He will then have no parental rights.

Gunpowder · 07/10/2017 07:22

Of course it must be an awful shock but how exciting as well! A surprise grandchild! Hope they are both doing ok, OP.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/10/2017 07:23

Sorry I meant that as in protecting her from his pushing for adoption, which he can’t do anyway without her consent. In relation to maintenance, absolutely go through official Channels.

dementedpixie · 07/10/2017 07:25

He wouldn't be able to go on the birth certificate unless he went with her to register the birth as they aren't married

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 07/10/2017 07:35

supersop60 Yeah, could be, if the baby is a girl.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.