Going out of my mind

[clueless12]

Hi everyone

I need some help. I have an 11 month old DS who I am losing my mind with this week. He is SO clingy to the point if I go to the loo he has a full blown meltdown. Last night when he woke his dad went up to settle him whilst I cleaned my teeth and he had a near panic attack, screaming the place down and gasping. He calmed down when I held him.

He is BF and we co-sleep because it's the only way I can function feeding him in the night. He's never taken a bottle, which is fine to be honest, I haven't minded. He can't have cows milk as he's allergic. He'll drink water from a cup fine.

I'm worried because I go back to work soon and so scared he won't settle when I have family looking after him. The last two weeks he's had grandparents looking after him for a couple of hours which he was ok with last week but this week it was chaos as the dog had a melt down barking which scared him as we had a visitor and I had to give him to my in-law quickly to control the dog.

He now feeds once, maybe twice during the day. He's normally such a happy soul but this week especially has been hell. Have I made a rod of my own back co-sleeping? I'm tearing myself apart stressing about it.

Thanks.

Anyone have an pearls of wisdom?

DS2 is bf, we co sleep and he has just had a crying fit at the gate while I brush my teeth. I find that if he can see me or if I'm somewhere in the house he wants me and I've got no chance of getting anything done.
When I'm at work he's fine with DP or grandparents. DP says he's much easier for him as he plays independently a lot of the time, which he hardly ever does for me!

This one of the key ages for separation anxiety which is why the current mat leave policies actually backfire IMHO. It will pass, allow for lots of short sessions with his carers before you go back building it up.

I’ve got exactly the same situation went back to work 2 months ago it was horrible at first and she was absolutely miserable with the childminder but we are coming out the other end now (14 months) I think we’ve passed the peak separation anxiety stage and she is becoming more independent. Hang in there it does get better (i’m still breastfeeding and co-sleeping)