Should I go?

[user1498205994]

So my partner is currently working full time to support me and my DS (3) and my DD (2) I've been offered a job at his work place but Its full time from 7.30am (leave house @ 6.30am to get there) and I won't be home until 5.30pm ... I'm thinking I would have to hire a nanny for the children but I'm worried about not being around enough for my children?

So I wouldn't be dropping them to and from school - I wouldn't be able to pick them up either... I'm worried about how that will affect them? It's a mon - fri job so we would have the weekends together ... I guess I just have a bit of "mum guilt" leaving them with someone else who isn't a family member all week?

Does anyone have any experience of this? Hiring a nanny? Working full time all week and not picking the children up from school/ dropping them off?

Being home by 5.30 is pretty good. You would get to do bedtime every day if you wanted. Me and DH work FT, usually one of us is out early, back earlier and the reverse. Not possible for both of us to do both ends of the day as such. I travel as well, so just done drop off at nursery and won't see the DC awake until Wed morning now.

We don't have a nanny, more of a patchwork quilt of CM, nursery school, and nursery that works right now. CM does pre-school drop/pick. It is what it is. You have to be accepting of choices made (easier to write than do).

How does your DH feel about "mum guilt"? Mine finds it completely bizarre. Thankfully he is in my corner and sees how the expectations of what a "good mum" is is completely impossible to achieve no matter what you do

My DH really wants me to come and work with him as I know all of the co Workers through work events and we all get on well. I think possibly a CM would be better than a nanny after looking into it a little more.

My DH understands how I feel because he says of course he would prefer the kids to be with me all the time but really we need to move on financially now. I feel like I have nothing to loose really so I will go for it.

I just remember my life with my parents never being around due to working and wishing that my mum would come and collect me from school like all the other kids. But I guess 5.30pm isn't a bad time to be home after all as my mother I wouldn't see 5 days a week due to her coming home at 10pm every night.

Is it possibly you could WFH some days? I WFH 3 days a week and do school run twice, and can rearrange my office days so I don't miss much. It feels like the best of both worlds to me

First have a serious, in depth, detailed discussion with your dh about how chores and childcare will be divided - would be my advice.

If you've been doing the lions share until now, that will need to change. How will it be managed between the two of you when you're both out of the house 11 hours a day, 5 days a week?

Dp and I do share quite a lot equally (eg drop offs/pick ups/sick days/bedtimes etc) but if I'm honest it only really works as I work 4 days a week and catch up on laundry etc on my non working day. It would be a lot harder without that. Its do-able. But harder.

In some ways the under-5 years are easier for childcare. Its when they start schools with 3pm finishes and 13 weeks off a year that things get tricky...

Me and OH share a lot of the housework as it is to be honest, he's very good that way. So I don't think a lot would change there. We would be travelling to work together also so we would both pick up the children/drop them off which is a bonus I suppose.

Unfortunately there really isn't an option to work part time as I would be assistant manager and essentially my partners boss. My son is due to go to pre school in January full time so I'm a little unsure of how much childcare would cost?