Reality of life with three children

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This has probably been done many times before but what are your honest experiences of having three children? What age gaps do you have? We're very much undecided. I'm more let's do it, husband is fine with two. I had depression with ds1 but more to do with moving out of London tbh and feeling very out of my depth. DS2 has been much easier because I've been more relaxed though I am chronically exhausted and suffer from insomnia and I'm also on anti depressants. We have a 2 year 3 month age gap and my youngest is nearly 18 months. If we're going to try it will be from when he's around 2 to give us a bit more of a breather and to enjoy these two. DS1 will also be in school if we do end up with three kids. I used to want a girl but now I would be just as happy with another boy. However, I do feel relieved once they get a bit easier and my life becomes more normal again and I go back to work and get a bit of space. I basically do love babies but find them very very hard work so am worried about the slog of that bit, but the thought of having three children when they are older makes me feel good. I'm an only and hated not having siblings.

Honestly I wouldn't especially if your already exhausted and on anti depressants. My 3rd dc really tipped me over the edge mentally and I wasn't on /didn't need any anti depressants before that. It's not as if he was a hard baby either quite the opposite slept and fed well really chilled out baby. He's 2.5 now so in the midst of the terrible 2s which is a stage I've hated with all of them. I'm hoping that things get easier once he's in school.
Financially it's harder (a lot harder than I expected) and splitting yourself 3 ways equally between them is hard too. If I knew before hand how hard it was going to be all round id of stuck at 2.

Opposite side of the story here, have 3 and no 3 is rhe best decision ever we made. It has completed our family. Older two dote on her (4 year age gap so thugs logistically a bit easier too). I also feel I m finished now and I never had that feeling before. I feel in myself very balanced and steady as I m not tossing the question about in my head whether to try for a 3rd or not.

I should add we don't have much family support locally and I work PT it s a juggle, I had some PND aftet my first, not second. I found going from 1-2 more difficult and the busy ness generally worse with a toddle and small baby.

If you feel you can line up good support in the year after you have another I d say gonfor it, but again it s a very personal decision. X

Hard call,and only you can answer but if you have struggled with two rather than loved having little ones it might be wise to hold off.
There are more cons than pros if you just look at the practicalities.

Holidays are harder as cant usually have three in a hotel room with you - you have to move to either adjoining rooms, a suite or go self catering. It's more expensive. The food and meals put cost more too.

Daytrips can be hard - who sits on their own at theme parks, who gets to wait because there's only space for four in the teacups? Even public swimming pools often restrict number of children you can take in the pool. Family tickets tend to be 2+2 (except Arundel castle, as I recall).

Logistically it's easy on a weekend when you're both well and can walk through the woods or go to the zoo. If one of you is unwell or needing to work long hours, that changes and you have to manage them on your own.

It's nice to think you can use hand me downs to reduce costs but it never really worked for us in practice. The clothes were for the wrong season or the shoes were too wide/too narrow. Trousers never had knees after the third wearing so mine went into shorts most of the year.

I'd think hard about why you want a third and what sacrifice you are prepared to make. Each and every child is entitled to be truly wanted and planned.

I'm a single parent to four. I'm happy but exhausted and totally skint all the time.
I love my children but it's really hard. I wish there was enough of me to go round. They all need a piece of me and I feel like there is not enough time to spend with each one when there is so much to do (house work/ my job/ other commitments etc)

We have 3 with a smaller age gap between the older 2 and then 4 years between the middle and baby. The age gap works well and the baby has really completed our baby. The older DC love him, he adores them and there's always a lot of fun and laughter in the house.
But by god it's exhausting. There's never a break, always something needing done. It's too much to ask people to babysit because 3 children is a lot to deal with so there's really no getting away from it all.

We have 3 DC, 4, 3 and 8 months and it's honestly not been that bad for us. Yes it's hectic at times but they all get on well together and it's lovely seeing the baby beginning to play with his brothers.

We have 3 who are 7, 3 and 1 (16 months between youngest 2) and we are expecting number 4!
Number 3 slotted into our family quite nicely and it was easier to adapt than anticipated. I don't have extended family support but a fantastic DH and I do enjoy the children. However, 2 is much easier and I do think if we would have stuck at 2, we would have more time for ourselves and life would be generally easier e.g. school run, weekly shop. When one of them is in bed, at school, play data etc. it does feel less hectic and easier. Having said that, I'm having my 4th so it can't be that bad! The baby bit doesn't last long and to be honest, I can see it being harder when they are rebellious teenagers!
Financially, it isn't that much of a pull on us. I think you just adapt and live to your means.

It depends upon you, how you can handle it. Since you mentioned about having depression I would suggest it would be best to think and decide about a third one. However, the more the kids are, especially when they grow up the support will be more and the family would be stronger. All the best :)

Horrendous! Don't do it.

I found going from 2-3 really hard, I have biggish gaps between mine 12,5 &19months. I love them all dearly but my god if I knew how hard it would be having 3 I'd have changed my mind about trying. Obviously everyone is different but he is my first boy, and he is like a whirlwind of destruction, he is amazing, but I do find me and dh give each other the what have we done look a lot

We went for baby number three and had twins. Luckily our eldest was mid teens, so we only had 3 under 3. It’s pretty relentless tbh. They are amazing but it’s hard.

A friend had triplets...

Gah! Triplets 😳 hmmm yes will carry on pondering. We don't have any family support. Rely on childminder/preschool etc though we did put baby in at around 7 months for a few hours here and there so I could have a break. Definitely would consider the help we'd need if we go for it as my DH works long hours too. Am at a x roads with work too. Redundancy and going freelance. Will mean not so tied to commuting but have no idea how that will pan out.
I found 0-1 way worse than 1-2, though am finding it all a bit taxing at the mo as DS2 starting to get to the whingey needy phase and is still waking at 5-5:30 so we're zombies. I'd have to do a lot of bed and bath by myself but weekends would be both of us. I plan to carry on working part time as I would go mad as a sahm I'm afraid. We couldn't wait much longer than a 3 year gap as I'll be pushing 40 plus I'd like them to be fairly similar in age.

I'll let you know in three months when our third child arrives! None of the practical reasons have put me off, I've always wanted three and expect it to be v hard work... But also v rewarding

uhoh2016 - are you me????

My friend went for a third and had twins. She now has 4 under 5! She's happy but totally knackered.

It's so personal. I've got 2 (2 and 4) and there's no way in hell i'd go for a third. I'm 40 now so perhaps age/tiredness related.

It's just getting easier now with mine. I'm actually getting sleep, time for myself etc. But even with two I find it hard to divide myself, someone always wants mummy or they both want me to play totally different things at the same time! I find myself bargaining/saying 'give me two minutes and then I'll do that'.

I can't imagine how i'd do that with three, especially now my eldest has started school and needs more attention with reading/writing and stuff. Although with my friend her eldest two do entertain each other a lot.

I'm no help, sorry!

I have 3. Between DS1 and DD is 19 months and DD and DS2 is 2 years and 3 months.

I loved having babies and toddlers. And although I was knackered I was home with them (worked evenings when they were in bed) I loved being with them, taking them to the park etc and I had DH who worked long shifts so was around 7 days out of 14 for days out and sharing the load etc.
Kids are now 6,9 and 10. All at primary school, it’s a lot lot harder to be honest. It’s never ending. Before we could have a Home day if we were tired. Now there’s something on all the time and School, clubs, activities, parties, play dates,homework, etc etc

Holidays and days out are a nightmare and way more expensive as every thing is geared up for 4. Eg hotel rooms, when they were babies we could be in 1 room, now hotels won’t let you so we have to have 2 rooms and split up. We rented a eurocamp caravan and had to pay for a 3 room one (even though the kids all shared the room with bunk beds in and top to tailed on the bottom bunk!!)

If you struggle with 2 you will definitely struggle with 3.

Why would you? You aren't feeling great as it is.

Spoiler alert: they get very expensive!

Three is fun but exhausting when they are young.

Now mine are teenagers, it's still enjoyable but can be very stressful, and one of the things I wasn't really prepared for was the fact that as they get older, their interests and hobbies diverge and also become way more important than every before (for example, hobbies that turn into possible career options or look good on college applications).

So you can end up being pulled in different directions to support them all, emotionally, physically, financially. Which is a challenge.

Im a single parent, so I'd imagine a couple might feel a bit less pressure to be everywhere all at once. And in spite of the stress and exhaustion, I wouldn't change mine for the world well, maybe the swearing and the laziness of the eldest.

Childcare for 2 can make you have to think carefully about career choices, what hours you work to make it profitable. Childcare for 3 just tips you over the edge and there’s no way its worth working while having to pay for 3 in full time nursery!!! (Unless you earn something like £100k!!)

With 2 kids you have 1 relationship between A and B, with 3 kids that turns into 3 relationships (A and B, A and C, B and C) so there’s always something going on,
With 2 kids if 1 doesn’t want to play they both go off and are quiet, with 3 it’s odds on that at least 2 of them are playing noisily or fighting at any given point. (On a plus point 3 does make for a more interesting play or puppet show! And in our case watching 2 sibling play and have fun and helped DS1 who has ASD learn to interact a bit more)

When they are little you don’t have enough hands to push buggy and hold kids hands across roads/in car parks etc. Story time also means there isn’t anough arms for everyone to have a cuddle at the same time.

I have pointed out mainly negatives, dont get me wrong I love all 3 of my kids to bits and I do love having a ‘tribe’ but it is hard work, exhausting, expensive and a logistical nightmare!!!

3 here and although I love them dearly I wish I'd stopped at 2. Two have Sen though so probably a bit different but life tends to be geared more towards families of 4.

Our gap is small 9,8,5. But it is hard work. I think if you're feeling it with two adding another will be very hard.

We have 3. 11, 9, 1. We're going for number 4!

The bigger age gap definitely helped as older dc more self sufficient and also able to watch the baby for a minute while I had a wee or rock the pram while I cooked. I found it very hard going back to no sleep and loss of control over my life though! Had a few crazy moments as a result.

School runs were hard after nights of no sleep but at the same time gave us some semblance of routine and meant we were up and about.

I dropped my hours at work after no3, it was hard but doable, however I then got made redundant and decided to be a sahm for a bit which is much easier in terms of having the time to do everything (and childcare). Still seem to be constantly busy though

It is expensive having three, and the constant school runs, activities etc means our lives are completely dedicated to the dc but overall it's good.

Also just another perspective - I would also think about the impact on your older dcs. I'm the eldest of 3 with 5 and 8 year age gap. I love love love my siblings now but hated it growing up. Hated having a house full of toys/the noise - my parents couldn't sit down with me often to do homework as they were jumping around everywhere. I just craved peace as a Pre teen/teenager!

Three is a lot harder than people make out. My third was most demanding baby of the three.
There's always one left our no matter how hard you try and they'll gang up against one. I think you have two for company for the child and three for yourself I don't think the kids particularly benefit when young from a second sibling.
Wouldn't change it but would advise staying at two . Childcare costs with three make work often unaffordable whereas they're manageable with two.

Also if you need emergency childcare or favours it's an awful lot to ask someone to have three extra kids