MAKEUP HELP. DD age 7 invited to a Claire's Accessories party. What do I do?

[powdercustard]

HELP. What do I do? DD AGE 7 has been invited to a Claire's Accessories birthday party! She came home saying they are going to do makeup. Isn't that far too young?

I'm not against makeup but girls are under so much pressure now. So we have decided to keep the kids away from makeup (bar nail varnish) and too much beautifying. Even TV shows and adverts with skinny beautiful women. So I definitely don't want her to get obsessed about makeup at such a young age. It may only be once, but maybe it will merge to her subconscious and make her feel the pressure to be beautiful when older?... Incidentally, I saw a kid aged 8 who had started wearing makeup all the time... it looked AWFUL.

I don't really want her to go. But she does, and understandably. As she's just started a new school with lots of new girls in the class.

What's your view? Does it matter, or not, because home influence is more important? Am I fussing? Around our neck of the woods it isn't normal to have a Claire's Accessories party, but is it elsewhere?

And I let her out in it as it's worn off in minutes.

why do you let an 8 year old wear any makeup out of the house?

Why not? Would you say the same about face paint?

My daughter is 9 and loves makeup. She also loves sport, getting muddy and whatever else 9-year-olds do. She goes from wanting to wear tiny skirts and flinging her hair about, to not brushing said hair for days and trying to go out in a slept-in onesie.

I'm a brownie leader and the girls love a pamper evening.

I think it's a horrible idea, too, but I'd let her go.

Do you wear makeup at home, powdercustard? (No judgement either way from me, just noting it will affect how your DD normalises it as something girls and women are expected to do.)

Expected to do? Are we really expected to do it? I don't think so.

Makeup == facepaint
Makeup is something women are expected to do to make themselves look sexually attractive, younger and socially presentable. Teaching young girls that makeup is a normal and expected part of being a girl/woman is weird and unhealthy. I can’t for the life of me understand why any mother would do that.

Lip balm isn’t makeup though polar so not sure why you call it lipgloss!

I don't feel at all expected to wear makeup. I like doing it from time to time. I don't see it as any different to putting on jewellery or flattering clothes.

My daughter plays with makeup because she wants to. It's not because of any influence from me. I don't see it as any different to painting her face with a rainbow or spider. So you can as much as you like.

she calls it lip gloss. Because she's 8 and playing at being grown up. She rarely sees me in much make up but does read and sees other older girls/women wearing it.
I don't encourage it (all her make up has been presents from others) but neither am I going to ban it and make a big issue of it.
Likewise my son likes experimenting with different hairstyles using gel etc. It's not something he's got from his dad who has had the same hairstyle for 20 years but it's fun.

Makeup is something women are expected to do to make themselves look sexually attractive, younger and socially presentable. Teaching young girls that makeup is a normal and expected part of being a girl/woman is weird and unhealthy. I can’t for the life of me understand why any mother would do that.

Completely disagree. Women are NOT expected to wear makeup apart from in a few professions. They might have been expected to in the 1980s but not now. I don't put this down to advancing women's liberation sadly, I think it's just down to fashion.

Oh, and highly recommend for a get together with friends who also don't wear makeup. Fine some old bits of makeup you might have knocking round from years ago and put it on together. My friend and I were crying laughing at our makeupy faces. Makeup is a bizarre think really, 'I know, I'll paint another face on top of my face'. imo women almost always look better without it, and I think heavily painted faces just look ridiculous.

I totally get where you are coming from I keep seeing pamper birthday parties for young girls on Facebook where they get a complete makeover I find it a bit strange. Its not the fact they are playing with makeup etc it's the message that girls are valued for their looks. I'm sure your daughter will enjoy the party and it sounds like you are careful about what she is exposed to, it's really up to you whether the benefit of avoiding the party outweighs your daughter not being able to attend a friends birthday. I have vague memories of birthday parties being very exciting when I was a child and very upsetting to miss them

It's a kids party, at Claire's I doubt they'll have full faces of Mac. Let her go and have fun with her friends.

Some nice woman shaming going on in this thread.
Funny how people don't stop to think that saying a woman looks ridiculous with the way she chooses to wear her make up is the same as saying a woman looks ridiculous without it.

I wouldn't like it either but as she's at a new school I think it would be more important to let her go in order to make friends/get to know the other girls better.

Although I'd hope home influence would have more effect I'm not so sure it does, media and peer groups have a big impact. I don't wear make up at all but 6 year old DD is obsessed with the stuff and longs for the day she's old enough to wear it.

I just can't get worked up about this. Most of us wear it when we're grown ups anyway! I was forever being told off as a child for my love of makeup and I'm now a beauty therapist and do make up as part of my job! If you ban something all you are doing is making it more appealing.

It's just dressing up. An organised version of using your mum's lippie and rifling through her wardrobe for her heels.

And if she comes away with any make up you keep it for dressing up at home only.

My daughter was invited to a party like this ... she refused point blank to go because she couldn't see the point in a party where there was no activity!! She's more of an adventurous sort (some would call her a tom boy) and really couldn't see why any one would want to sit and have their hair done and their nails painted (which is what her party was) - she prefers laser quest or just running around like a loon!

I played with a fair bit of make up as a child-my aunt has a huge bag full of old makeup and I was once gifted toy makeup- but I was past Uni. when I became serious about using it and learning techniques. I went through college and uni. with not a bit of makeup.

I think what made me care even less about make up was that my uni. classes were ridiculously early and none of my mates in college/uni. really wore any make up. None of my mates at uni. wore any make up.

Do young kids not rummage through their mums/older sisters make up collections anymore and apply a face full of dreadful colours at once? I have fond memories of applying copious amounts of Avon iced champink to my face- not sure it's done me any harm.

Have rtft but my dd went to a Claire’s party and there was nail varnish but no make up if that helps.

Makeup is something women are expected to do to make themselves look sexually attractive, younger and socially presentable. Teaching young girls that makeup is a normal and expected part of being a girl/woman is weird and unhealthy. I can’t for the life of me understand why any mother would do that.

I was most sporadically allowed make up as a child and I grew up mostly not using it until my mid-twenties.

it's probably contingent on your background and the company you keep; if those around you don't put great weight on their make up, or lack of it, then chances are you won't either.

I love make up - always have. My mother could not give less of a shit about it if she tried. I don't think I went to any make up parties at 7, 8, 9. There are far bigger influences on a child than a couple of hours here and there. Also think my self esteem is pretty good and don't feel expected to do anything.

... and months after the party...
GOOD she went because it was the beginning of a new school with a new friend.
BAD she came back covered in makeup and now still loves her makeup, and it definitely went deep in her subconscious.
It was obviously too much too young, if you want your kids to grow up without being obsessed by their looks.

Definitely I could have organised the day-out of her dreams and planned a great playdate with this girl instead.

There were 50 comments on this thread. At the end of it I thought I must be wrong because so many people disagreed with me.

IN REALITY foul mouthed trolls are clearly the main posters on Mumsnet. Rude. Taking the piss. Really? You are mothers too. That's a great example to set for your children.