Fed up of trying to please everyone!

[gem31566]

I'm so fed up of trying to please the people in my life! I rush around helping and traveling miles and miles to see them, they don't appreciate it and not one can be bothered to help me! They sit back and watch me struggle! I'm fed up of it all! I think it's time to concentrate on me and my children!!!!
Anyone else feel the same???
Did anything help you over come this????

Yes absolutely. My experience is if you let people get too used to taking from you they start thinking of you as a resource rather than a person. (Only some people though - the ones worth knowing won't do this). I suggest ditching the takers and putting your energy into people who bring you joy or who look after you back.

One thing to check first though - people who put lots of effort into looking after others are often really bad at admitting they need help themselves. Have you made it really clear you need help? You might be rushing around looking superbly together so nobody dares to offer?

Thank you for the advice, I don't ever ask for help I just struggle in with my everything ok s fine face!

Try asking! Ask everyone & see who comes through, I should think some will, some won't. It'll be hard to do & you'll probably feel quite uncomfortable about it to begin with but it's a useful skill to practice

Hi,

In first place if you are pleasing people, then there is a need within you to connect with people which probably is not happening. The best approach I would say is try attending some local events and get to a job where many people would be around. Atleast one person will appreciate you and speak to you and be good friends with you. Building good friends becomes a struggle at some point in life but definitely possible without pleasing people. May be you can volunteer and make a difference. That way you can get good people in.

Its really nice of you to go and help people, making efforts to visit to see them. But what I see in you based on what you described is that you probably feel a bit lonely or insecure. Are you living with your husband or boyfriend or are you single mother? Its best to stay close to the family because at some point all those so called friends will leave as they also focus on their own family. People come after us without us pleasing them only when we are celebrity or when we have a lot of money or when we are kids. Once a person hits 30s everybody gets busy with their own life. Its best to keep your expectations low.