What rights does a father have if not on birth certificate

[MissLoki]

Hi I'm new here and wondering if anyone can give me advise,
I have a 10 year old daughter who knows nothing about her biological dad. My ex and I split when I was 2 months pregnant and him and his family decided the baby wasn't his. There was a little contact between the ages of 8 and 11 month only due to my ex's new girlfriend and there's been nothing since, until now. My current partner has been there for my daughter since before she was born and so we decided he would be her daddy. My ex eventually started paying maintenance when she was around 9 months old but only because it was taken straight from his wages by csa. He has never acknowledged any important dates no birthdays, xmas's, starting school literally nothing. I have recently received a message from my ex saying he wants to meet my daughter as it's (in not so many words) convenient for him. I've told him that this would break my daughters world apart as well as my partners. I understand it's a child's right to know their real father but I really can't do this to her, take away everything she knows. I'm hoping he's only contacting because csa has told him to to arrange another way to pay as they are closing down, and he's just fishing to see what my plans are. I've told him I don't want any money off him and that's the last I've heard from him. I'm really just wanting to know what rights doesn't he actually have?

I hope someone comes along with a bit of experience but I'd be shocked if he could demand a ten year old spend time with him. What a piece of shit.

So does your daughter think her biological father is your current partner? Who is not, in fact, her biological father? If so, you've got bigger problems here. You are going to blow her world apart at some point because you've gone along with this!

In answer to your question; none. He's not named on the birth certificate. He could take you to court and demand a DNA test and then go on the birth certificate and get parental responsibility but it would be long and costly. But perfectly possible.

And tell your daughter. Because it will go a whole lot better coming from you that when she finds out accidentally and realises you've lied to her your whole life.

Your daughter deserves to know the truth and while he's been a shit, its pretty shit of you to lie to her for her entire life.

He can apply for parental responsibility through the court.

I don’t know the best way forward for you in your situation but it came out to me when I was about 8 or 9 that my ‘dad’ wasn’t actually my biological dad. I took it in my stride not really understanding what all the fuss was about it - I didn’t feel like I was missing anything as my step-Dad was so wonderful. Perhaps you should find a way of telling her the truth in a casual way as you can only go so long hiding this.

I still to this day have no contact with my ‘real’ dad and other then the odd drunken Facebook stalk I don’t really feel any need to contact him as he’s a complete stranger to me.

What happens if he contacts her when she’s older and much more likely to feel betrayed?

She's. 10. And you've lied to her about who her dad is? Surely you must have realised that was never going to go well.

Thanks for the replies. Turns out he was actually checking my plans for maintenance. Apparently you pay less if your child stays over a few days per week, the cma would also charge him 20% on what he pays and as I've told him I won't be asking for money he's not bothered about seeing her. In regards to lying to her, yes that was a huge mistake on my part I was 17 when I fell pregnant and very immature unfortunately I didn't think of the repercussions. my partner and I have been discussing him adopting her so if we can get the ball rolling with that I can use that as a conversation starter.

Missloki, maybe a discussion about how babies are made (or another if you already have) and how her dad (your partner) is her dad but there is also a sperm donor.

He's not her father he never will be

My daughter has a 1 year old son.
At the moment she doesn't want the father on the birth certificate for certain reasons. Does he still have to pay maintenance or because he is not on the birth certificate he is not obliged too.
Appreciate some advice.

I don’t understand why you haven’t taken steps in the last 9 years of no contact for your partner to adopt her.

If it’s actually just motivated by reducing maintenance, maybe suggest that to him. Then he won’t be liable for any maintenance at all.

Regardless, I think you need to start being honest with your daughter. Possibly in the context of family therapy.

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