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Original poster

Had to abandon potty training

15 replies

Gedders · 08/04/2007 15:24

We have had a potty in the bathroom for about 6 months now, so DS knows what it is and has got used to seeing it, and we started potty training last week.
He is 2y7m and is quite advanced for his age in a lot of stuff... except this. He just doesn't seem to know when he is about to wee, despite me asking if he needs to go frequently. He also didn't poo for three days and I worried that this was due to being apprehensive about using the potty. He was really excited about wearing his 'under crackers' at first and I'd taken him to the shop to choose them, but after 3 days he was asking to be put in his nappies again. So, after 3 days I gave up when he hadn't done so much as a sniff of a wee in his potty.
I'm concerned - how old is too old for potty training and when should I expect him to be ready?

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Nanoon · 08/04/2007 16:07

oh gosh, this is exaclty why i am putting off potty training my ds (2.6). He is quite advanced in lots of areas but i am dreading it. From what i have read boys tend to be later than girls and training at 3 1/2 is not unusual

tinkerbellhadpiles · 08/04/2007 16:11

They all get there by the time they go to school, be patient, it will happen if you just don't get stressed about it. : )

mrsflowerpot · 08/04/2007 16:14

He'll be ready when he's ready - he's not that old yet for it. I really wouldn't worry about it yet, particularly not with a boy.

I put ds in pants at about the same age, he seemed ready, but it was a disaster and we packed it in after a couple of weeks for a few months. He was dry well before his 3rd birthday and it took literally a couple of days that time. (DD I suspect will be dry by the time she's 2 though - they are all very different.)

It's also quite normal for them to be dry for a while before they get the pooing right, just to warn you...

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FrannyandZooey · 08/04/2007 16:17

We didn't start with ds until he was 3, and he got the hang of it straight away - because he was ready. I think it's a mistake to "expect" them to be ready at any particular time - each child is different.

Try again in say 2 months, and take it very gently. The withholding poo thing is very common in boys and best avoided at all costs IMO. I think you are wise to back off at this stage.

susie40 · 08/04/2007 22:19

Currently training DS (3.5) - this is day 3 and we're definitely getting results. He certainly wasn't ready until very recently. This is how I knew he was ready: if there was a nappy change very late in the day I used to chance it and put him in pants and very recently he stated noticing if he wet himself and saying "Oh no, wee".

MrsGumby · 08/04/2007 22:45

I had an absolute nightmare of a time trying to potty-train my DS when he was just over 3 years old. He just didn't take to a potty at all, ignored any "reward" ruses and initially just refused to communicate that he needed a wee or poo and had accidents all over the show. I spent about two months obsessing about his toilet habits and it turned me virtually insane and I wasn't doing him or myself any favours. My Health Visitor advised me to give myself and DS a two-month break from it all, which I did...and it did the trick. Two weeks before he was due to start pre-school everything just clicked and he by-passed the potty and went straight onto the toilet (with one of those nice, soft, trainer seats) and hasn't looked back. Good luck...it'll all come right in the end, I'm sure of it.

PizPizPiz · 09/04/2007 15:49

Gedders, I went through exactly the same thing 3 weeks ago. I was dreading it and I was right, it was a complete nightmare! We gave it a good try for 3 days but she just doesn't feel she needs to go. She's 2.6 btw. She knows what the potty's for, loves sitting on it and wearing knickers, but just stands there weeing all over the place 1 metre away from the potty . I'm 30 week pg so I'd like to get that done asap but it looks like it's going to take longer than I expected.

rowan1971 · 09/04/2007 15:56

Christ on a bike, don't get into 'stool witholding' territory. I stupidly ploughed on with potty training ds1 when he was just 3, despite the fact that he resolutely refused to poo in the potty and would go for days and days without. It turned into an absolute nightmare. You've done absolutely the right thing by backing off! Wish I'd had your sense.

Original poster

Gedders · 10/04/2007 19:16

Thanks all for your replies. I feel a lot better now. I know boys are slower than girls, but I just can't stop comparing him to his female cousin who is 2 weeks younger than him and has been potty trained for well over 2 months now. He starts pre-school in Sept. so I guess I could start the potty training in the summer. (It's so much easier with puppy dogs!)

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mum2sons · 10/04/2007 19:32

Hi Gedders,

We have given up too...
My DS2 just cannot let his wee go IYKWIM, he is 2 yrs and 7mnths as well.
Some days he sits on the potty, others he just wont and holds his wee until he gets a nappy on (the other day he went and found a nappy, put it on and then wee`d!!)

DS1 was easy and much quicker and i have friends who have mastered it from the age of 2.
I think boys are slower in this department.

StephL27 · 10/04/2007 23:17

Help! Son is 3.1 and we've been potty training for 4 weeks. He will always sit on the toilet and do a wee if he has one at the time I put him on there but if I don't catch him at the right time he just does it in his pants. Consequently I'm like a parrot - " do you want a wee, do you want a wee, oh no you've done a wee!". Even if I put him on every 15 minutes he still manages to do one in between, he never tells us that he needs to go. He doesn't care if he is wet and doesn't tell us when he has wet his pants. I've tried sticker charts, chocolate buttons for wees and chocolate bars for poos etc etc he happily takes the rewards for the times we catch him right. I'm convinced he understands the process and knows what to do - I think he is just lazy and can't be bothered to get up to go to the loo (and he won't use a potty)

susie40 · 10/04/2007 23:55

Steph, sounds like my DS a few months ago. Why don't you take a break for a bit, sounds like he really isn't ready yet. DS didn't care in the slightest when he was wet, it could be all down his trousers from a nappy that just couldn't cope and he couldn't care less, then one day he started to notice and care. We have made rapid progree with the training because he doesn't want to be wet.

madamez · 11/04/2007 10:13

Well we've started today: took DS out of his nappy this morning, let him run around the kitchen for about half an hour half-naked, with two or three "do you want the potty" moment,s and some time spent sitting on it. Then we went upstairs and he sat on his trainer seat on the loo. Then I dressed him, including new pants and no nappy, and told him to tell me when he wanted the potty.
of course, 5 mins later he shat the pants. So cleaned him up, clean pants, going to take him to the potty about every half-hour and keep explaining...
How many days of shat pants do I endure before deciding he's not ready yet?

StephL27 · 11/04/2007 22:33

Susie40, you may be right, but when I suggested this to the nursery they said we shouldn't put him back in nappies as he was one of the best they had (if 8 accidents a day is one of the best I dread to think what one of the worst is!!)

susie40 · 13/04/2007 19:03

How's it going, madamez? It may be shat pants for a while - we're still getting poo accidents but DS is pretty well dry now.

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