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Parenting

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Original poster

Is DH being "unfair" to DS2.................or is my friend talking a pile of rubbish??

11 replies

fannyannie · 08/04/2007 15:23

DH has taken the last week off work - well earned as he's been working 6/7 days a week sometimes from 10am-9pm for the last few months.

This last week he's spent more time one on one with DS1 than he has with DS2. I don't have a problem with it because during a normal week DS1 may only see DH for 1 1/2hrs (or less) not including the weekend. DS2 sees him every morning until at least 10am, often until lunchtime. This is because DH works until 9pm everynight and we take it in turns to get the DS's up, and DS1 to school in the mornings - so if DH is lying in on Mon, Wed and Fri he'll only see DS1 on the Tuesday and Thursday before school.

A friend of mine thinks that it isn't fair on DS2 that DH has spent most of the 'quality' time this last week with DS1. I don't think it's a problem as once school goes back DS1 will be back to having a "weekend only" daddy -whereas DS2 will still see him every morning..........

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Carmenere · 08/04/2007 15:24

It is none of her business how you choose to parent your dc's.

alittlebitshy · 08/04/2007 15:25

i think i agree with you..... and i'm not sure why your friend felt the need to comment. Nothing like a quick bit of criticism to make you paranoid is there /

Original poster

fannyannie · 08/04/2007 15:26

I know it's not but it just got me wondering whether DS2 was being served a great injustice or whether she just doesn't realise how nice it is to have a 9-5 DH....

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DeviousDaffodil · 08/04/2007 15:29

I wouldn't take any notice of your 'friend'.
I am sure the DS's are happy.
Sometimes it is nice to have special time with one child when you don't get the chance to normally.

princessmelTingChoccyEggs · 08/04/2007 15:42

It sounds to me that both ds's get to see daddy on their own at some point. This is nice for them and him.
Its none of your friends business anyway. x

Original poster

fannyannie · 08/04/2007 16:40

thanks everyone - just confirmed what I thought really - but you know what PG hormones can do to you suddenly had a moment of paranoia !

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2cheekymonkeys · 08/04/2007 20:53

He's not being unfair, he's just making up for lost time with the one he sees least. My ds1 is at school full time and I've found i've been spending a lot more quality time with him this weekend than with ds2, who I'm with all day during the week. Ds2 doesn't feel left out because he's spending lots of time with his daddy, who he hardly sees during the week.

adath · 09/04/2007 08:51

I could only see it beign a probem if your DS2 is having a problem with it but I am sure he is happy having you all to himself though.
One thing that I think may not be fair was if he was taking ds1 out to do lots of fun things that I am sure he probably doesn;t do with ds2 during the week as there is not a long time before work.

I think some peoplecan have far too many opinions sounds like you have found a good compromise there and ds2 probably doesn't see having his dad around as much of a novelty as ds1 does sohe probably doesn't care that much anywyay.

Original poster

fannyannie · 09/04/2007 15:49

DH has taken DS1 a few places (took him to the Cinema on Sunday - but that was part of a long promised trip if he managed just one "dry night" LOL), and taken him out and about doing 'odd jobs' and stuff - but then DS1 is 6 1/2yrs old, and DS2 is 3.......so DS1 much more 'suited' to helping daddy with stuff.

DS2 hasn't been the slightest bit phased by it and have to say today I'm thinking "cheeky cow" about my friend (she is a good friend really just got me wound up with our conversation yesterday)>

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adath · 09/04/2007 20:20

I think you're right she is a cheeky cow then.
You sound like you are all happy and if the children are happy with the situation then that is what matters. I am going to be a cheeky cow too though and say although I agree that your ds2 is less suited to help it may be nice for him to get to do something out the norm with daddy by himslef before he goes back to work because if nothing else it means that it is something daddy does already by the time he is that bit older and may mind about it.

Original poster

fannyannie · 09/04/2007 21:33

DS2 goes to nursery in September - and will be going in the mornings - so will be in the same position as DS1 is now. So DH will automatically do stuff with both of them when he has time to.

TBH I think DS2 has been more pleased by the fact that DS1 has been home all day than having daddy all day

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