Unreasonable expectations from kids' dad

[Despairing123]

I have three children with my ex partner, he doesn't have them on a regular basis, just as and when he feels like it. He was not paying anything towards their clothes as he told me he didn't have much money because he wasn't working many hours. He said he couldn't get another job as he didn't have the confidence to go to an interview, he also has a criminal record which goes against him. I took him to child maintenance and they awarded me £18.46 a week as he's self employed and didn't earn much last (financial) year. He was taking the youngest to football practice and games twice a week and paying £5. Since he's had to pay me £18.46 a week he's told me that I will now have to pay the £5 football fee and also buy his football boots (he bought his last pair, the only ones he's bought). He still takes him to football but this is due to him being a big football fan, if my youngest was into swimming or tennis you can guarantee I'd be the one taking him. He's just so selfish. We've had a discussion and he said he'd have the kids two days a week if he can claim the child benefit and child tax credit for one of the children. He would clothe and provide for that child and I would do the same for the other two. This is the only way he could have them for two days a week as he couldn't afford it otherwise, that this would enable him to not have to work 5 days a week! I suggested that as we both work every day during the week (me part time school hours) he could have them alternate weekends. His response was that he wouldn't have a life!! I feel like I'm having to make a financial sacrifice for him to have his kids. Sorry for the long post, there's so much more than that though!! What is your take on this?

I tell him to do one and if he wants to take ds to football that's his choice not yours

He's trying it on and banking on you putting ds first

He's manipulating all this to get what he wants and money

Do you really think he'll have the dc two days a week when the cb and tax care signed to him?

Have you considered he gets cb and that opens up a better social housing band for him

He appears to have no interest in the children.

Having the children 2 days a week does not make him RP ... I would not put my kids somewhere that is only about what money their dad can make from them..

I would tell him EOW all 3 kids if he takes it he does if he wants different he can take you to court.

Does he only see youngest regulary because I wouldn't accept that either.

Yes l think you're right on the fact that he knows I wouldn't not pay for football as I wouldn't want him to miss out. He owns his own house so housing band wouldn't affect him.

Don't risk a divide between the dc. My ex told ds I had signed him away when he tried to claim cb for him. And obviously you can't force him to spend it on the dc anyway. .

It seems to me he doesn't have any interest in the others much, the eldest goes over to his house (we live half a mile apart, unfortunately) to use the weights bench otherwise he'd hardly see him. The middle child is on the autism spectrum - socially - and doesn't do anything spontaneously. His dad complain that he never goes over to his house, I've said to him that if it was part of his routine to go one day a week then he would happily go to his house. He just makes zero effort for them, however if his older daughter come to visit from 100 miles away he'll take the kids out to spend time with her.

I'm not up on the acronyms! What are RP & EOW please?!

Resident parent and every other week end. .

I think he's also taking advantage of the fact that I need some time out occasionally and trying to provide me with a solution which appears to be in my interests but really just serves his own.

Thank you! Santawontbelong