This is complicated and I'll try to be brief. I have 2 children 4 and rising 6, due to work locations I live in the north east and my husband works in the south but comes up to the family house at the weekends. He is quite a lot older than me and has always been a bit authoritarian, but as a couple I've tended to ignore the more 'you will do xxxx' type comments. For the last year or so I've felt he has bullied the children without me really being able to say what exactly he is doing to make me feel that way. Last weekend it all went totally wonky, I think he's totally wrong but I guess I want some reassurance that I'm not being over sensitive. He called our 5 yo a 'hateful child' to his face for not eating the porridge he'd been given for breakfast and the 4 year old a liar for saying the porridge was too cold to eat. When I tried to defend them he went down the 'I've driven all the way up here now they don't behave' route. I work full time, he thinks I'm soft on them, but we manage to get through the week with reading/spelling done, fun and stories read without any problem. I don't know which way to turn.