have I made a terrible mistake choosing a montessori nursery?!

[purplecloudsgreyrain]

We are moving to another part of the UK soon and I was desperate for my four year to join a nursery as soon as we moved. This is because he is very shy and nursery said he has recently become more confident socially so I wanted to build on this by continuing in a nursery environment. I couldn't get to our new location to visit nurseries but wasn't keen on the other private ones based on their websites so chose Montessori as people I like have spoke well of them.
However, having looked a bit more into it, it does seem very structured and based on early education. DS1's nursery has a strong philosophy of self-determination and choice and respecting children's choices and voices and being led by children. I love that. He can spend all day (except food time obv) outside in imaginative play if he wants to. I am worried that Montessori will be very constraining in comparison.
Any experiences?

Wait until he's in it and see how he gets on. Moving them can be unsettling anyway so give him time to settle.
With regards to Montessori or not the nurseries I've experienced change depending on who it is running it and how structured or not the actual person running it is.

Hope he gets on fab and settles straight in

I don't think you can choose a nursery on the basis of a website.

I would wait until after the move, visit local nurseries and base a decision on what you see and feel when there.

Actually, I would say the opposite of Montessori. I went to a Montessori preschool and it was very much based around free play and exploration and outdoor learning. My daughter also went to one that was run by a Montessori teacher (not officially registered as Montessori though as it's an expensive process) and it was wonderful for her. She was there nearly 4 years (9 months til 4.5 when she started reception). It was lots of exploration and child led learning and forest school, though there are patterns to the day (snack time and lunctime, time to use the toilet, circle time where they sing songs or listen to a story, they sometimes all go for a walk out in the fields or there will be a game or craft). It's not a free for all, but with the exception of snack/lunch and if they are leaving for a walk or other activity away from the nursery (when all have to come for safeguarding reasons), there is a lot of choice and it's very child-led (they used to have meetings to discuss what things they wanted to plan to do in the coming weeks, i.e. build a bird house or cake bread or learn about bugs). I wouldn't describe it as 'structured' at all, in fact, much less so than the local preschools. Naturally though, all registered nurseries and preschools do have to adhere to Foundation Stage curriculum and as they get older, it does get more structured as they get ready for school. Is there a reason why you think it seems too structured?

Sorry for not replyng. The website refers to the montessori 'work cycle' which children have to adhere to. There is none of that at his current nursery!
I would have liked to wait till I got to our new home to visit but ds1 is due to start school in April ( if a place can be found for him.....) and I was scared he wouldn't get any place anywhere if I didn't grab this opportunity now. Where I currently live the popular nurseries have waiting lists of one year plus.

My [limited] experience agrees with mind's

I worked in early years SNs for a long time. We found Montessori didn't suit lots of our kids because there wasn't enough structure.
E.g. a child with ASD may get 'stuck' a the sand table because that is all they wanted to do and they were not moved on.

I am only speaking from my narrow experience and not claiming to be an expert. I am interested to hear a bit more about Montessori tbh.

Be aware that anyone can set one up. Its not a protected title (or wasn't).

Aside from all that rambling....don't worry. If the staff are kind and understanding with plenty of experience they will help your son settle in. He may find the structure comforting at a time of change.

I am sure it will be ok

The work cycle just means he chooses an activity from those on offer, does that activity, and then tidies that game/toy away before starting something else.

The activities on offer are usually drawn from practical life and based around motor skills e.g. At the moment my eldest is mainly using an ice cream scoop to pick up sand and move it from one bowl to another.

The work cycle really doesn't mean the teachers will be forcing him into anything.

Montessori is definitely not over structured. Your son will be less structured there than elsewhere. At 4yrs he will be fine.

I was disappointed when my dd went - the children were only 'allowed' to 'play' certain activities if they had already been shown how to do them. I don't think this helped her confidence at all.

The Montessori work cycle doesn't mean they're forced to sit and work, also it is not 'work' as we imagine it, but beautifully designed, specially made wooden materials that will be multi layered in what they offer the child. For example, the sandpaper letters help children learn their letters, have a sensorial element (the child feels rough letters with their finger, sometimes blindfolded), build muscle memory and fine motor skills.

The idea is the child WANTS to do it. Learning is exciting for children.

Feel free to pm me any questions about Montessori.

I really don't think you can choose a nursery through the website. I think you need to go down for a day or two and go and visit some nurseries to get a feed for it.

Be aware that anyone can set one up. Its not a protected title (or wasn't).

This is true, but it is easy to check if it is genuine. There is a governing body called MEUK who will accredit Montessori nurseries as genuine. You can ask them if they are accredited, if not, I would probably avoid.

Also many Montessori's will be associated with a training college. You can only set up an AMI Montessori school if you trained with AMI. All these things should be noted on the website or you can ask when you visit.

as pp say it depends.
there are 'purist' montessori settings that suit some children well. and there are less 'pure' setting that, ime, suit mord children.
my dc attend a montessori school. they follow the nc. they set aside time each day for pure montessori 'experience'. teaching involves developing a deep understanding through experimentation, touching, feeling (if you look up maths montessori materials/tools you will see how it works).

mord = most

OP I was a Head Teacher of a Montessori Nursery School for many years, and I now work with school accreditation. If it's implemented correctly I am absolutely convinced that the Montessori approach is perfect for all children (slightly biased!). I would strongly suggest you visiting the nursery and other non Montessori nurseries too before making a decision. The 'work cycle' refers to 3 hours of uninterrupted time for the children to do their activities which would consist of the child independently choosing as well as the teacher presenting new activities to the child.

It's important to find an accredited school - there are two main bodies either MEUK or MEAB. Please feel free to message me for more info and I can also point you in the direction of how to check if the school is accredited.

You choose a montessori but don't like the montessori elements
🙄

The nursery DD attended ran on Montessori principles and since she left, they 'market' themselve as a Montessori nursery.
There was lots of free play, creative activities, social interaction, and each child had a logged 'learning journey' which linked to DfE's EYFS curriculum milestones. Not every child meet every milestone, some exceeded them. Parents/carers were invited to termly meetings to discuss their child in all aspects of learning and behavioural development, and help and advice was given for all children - those who were not meeting developmental stage targets, those who were, and those likely to be gifted/talented children.
Nothing was forced on children, they leaned at their own pace, but nursery aimed to have them school ready by 4 so that they could take coats and shoes on and off, go to the toilet with minimal/no assistance, eat with cutlery, sit still for 5 minutes, and interact with others.

Perhaps someone could shed light on something that has always puzzled me.
Why the uniform?
I always thought of Montessori as very child centred/led so could never understand why tiny kids were put in formal uniforms.

Is that across all schools or just the ones I have come across?

No idea
We didn't have a uniform. We were advised to put children in clothes we didn't mind getting messy.

Neither of our local Montessori nurseries have a uniform.

Where I worked they didn't have a uniform.

I chose a beautiful Montessori preschool for DS. It was attached to a Montessori primary school and very purist- all staff fully qualified, all the beautiful specialist equipment etc. It was (and is) just lovely and I was so happy and excited for DS to go there.

Unfortunately, it didn't actually suit him at all. He couldn't cope with the 'work cycle' because he wasn't ready, for some reason, for the independence. He would happily do the activities if an adult sat with him, but as soon as they left him he struggled (he was supposed to be independent for the whole 3 hrs). Eventually he became disruptive to get attention during the work cycle, even throwing things at adults . They began to call me in to intimate that DS had behavioural difficulties. At the same time he was coming home with bleeding fingers because he was biting them so much through anxiety.

He then started Reception in a pre-prep where there was much more hand-holding and he was given much clearer indication of what he was supposed to be doing at any given time and he was fine. No more behavioural issues. He's in Y3 now and thriving and has become much more independent over time. He just wasn't ready to work in that way at 3. I'm not sure why.

Presumably because he was only 3, and all children are different! A nursery that won't adapt and suggests that your child has behavioural issues instead is not a good nursery.

Thanks to everyone for your replies. Tbh I think 2014newme may have it right - I think I may have chosen Montessori without liking the principles. A friend said that her son at Mont nursery was allowed to play outside all the time if he wanted, so whilst I was aware that Montessori had quite a structured approach to learning, and that there was a 'right' and 'wrong' way to do an activity (Based on what I found at a Montessori playgroup I took in and out of these activities as they wished or just go outside and play, because that is what my friend said it was like for her son. I also liked the fact that the aesthetic of the place is very similar to Ds1's nursery, and that age groups are mixed (at bit - not as much as current nursery where all ages from babies to the eldest mix together if they want), so I thought it wouldn't be so much of a change. But now I think it will be.

Och, maybe it will be okay. It will be VERY different though. He can do what he wants at his current nursery, go in and out as he likes, and that really suits him!

Crap. I have just checked with ME UK and it is not listed as accredited
:(

I don't know what to do now. I really, REALLY don't want DS1 not to have any nursery to go to when we move in a month. We won't have any friends so he will have no-one to play with.

Can I also ask - in this work time - are the children engaging with each other or really just working alone?

At DS's nursery they were not allowed to play with other children during the work cycle time. They also ate their lunch in silence with music on. They were able to socialise freely the rest of the day though.

Beauty I think it was a good nursery, and the vast majority of the 3 year olds seemed to be coping fine with the work cycle, it just wasn't right for DS.