Not having the money

[Awittyandmostunusualusername]

I am a SAHP so as a result we have no spare disposable income. I'm not materialistic ( and it shows as I look a state ) but I had very little growing up and I feel all most a compulsion to look for things to buy for my one year old. It's like I don't want him to be disadvantaged or behind because he doesn't have much. I know he has my time and we get outside a lot walking and in the garden etc plus cheap £1 toddler groups. I guess I covert the flashy baby classes, clothes, books and all the lovely toys I've been researching for xmas. In reality I can't buy any and eBay is ridiculously expensive for most things considering they are used! Clothes we get supermarket stuff, which is fine.

I could go back to work, but I'd have to go full time in my industry. So he'd have to go to a childminder or full time nursery as no parents that could cope ( age / distance / only visit for an hour etc) My Other half works long hours and long commute, so it would be challenging. We wouldn't have much more money as a result but more stress.

I don't know what I'm asking but I guess is there anyone in the same boat?

I read somewhere double the amount of time and half the amount of money you spend on your kids for a good childhood.

He has you with him all the time - that's a fantastic gift.

Do you have a toy library near you?

Yep we are similar. Childcare fees can be eye watering!

I really enjoy being frugal now I used to be a terrible fritterer. Get saving Tesco or Sainsburys points.

When you buy online try & get cashback via topcashback.

Meal planning & budgeting is the way forward

Pinterest is very useful for frugal ideas. Frugal baking, recipes, frugal activities & frugal Christmas ideas too. Try & give yourself a budget for "treats".

It won't be forever

Toy libraries are ace. You get to borrow some really good stuff and your house doesn't get filled up with junk. Win win in my book.

PS. eBay can be pricey but charity shops are full of books & toys. I have found some incredible toys in there. A play kitchen for £5! Almost new books are 25p or 50p.

I've just had a google but can't find a toy library will have a ask around. Great idea.

I can't believe the prices of things on eBay I think a trip to the high street charity shops is in order. I will raid the change jar.

Budget is unfortunately very tight as we seem to be in a slight deficit each month. It's not due to any luxuries ( no sky etc) but we do have two cars. I know we should get rid of one but it wouldn't make anything if we sold mine as it's very very old. Would make life harder if I couldn't drive as not much on locally. Hmmm will tighten the budget some more.

Well, at the risk of being shot down, why don't you buy things in charity shops and try to sell them on eBay, if prices are so high there?

Don't forget the actual library for toddler books and activities.

Could you consider doing something from home just to earn a few extra pounds. Like ironing for instance. Then you could have some treats even if you only did a few hours. I worked part time and probably would have had a few years off if I could have but money would have just been too tight. You need a few luxuries IMHO. At least I do.

Could you get a pt evening or weekend job , even if it's only in the run up to Christmas .

I can't do regular evening work as my other half doesn't get home until late. He does a 10 hour day plus a hour commute each way. Sometimes with traffic or over time he is out longer. He works some weekends, maybe 3 weekends days a month adhoc.

I struggle with help with childcare as my parents & PIL are both an hours drive away. I think I will try to set something up regularly with my patents, maybe if they stay over and I can do something at least once a week?

I'm trying to sell some baby bits on eBay not much happening. I think with fees etc people are pricing high to make some small profit but then not getting much interest. I've got free postage on my items but maybe I need to revise that and start the auctions lower?

A baby class where you get to meet other mums and spend quality time with your child is a much better investment than flashy clothes. Remember: most actually wealthy families put their children in hand me downs and discreetly nice clothing. Designer labels are most commonly worn by working class people desperately trying to look wealthy or because they misguidedly think that is doing the best for their child. I speak as the mother who felt like a fool at the baby class Christmas party because I was the only one who had dressed up their child in 'party wear' (tutu and blinged up converse) while everyone else's baby was in play clothes because I grew up without any spare cash.

Your time is worth so much more than a toy. Having said that, I love getting toys for my 18 month old.

If you keep an eye out, there's always a bargain to be had. Our local Tesco has a great clearance section. The other day we got a fisher price tea set that was 20 down to 5! DS2 loves it.

When money is tight it's not fun. We try and cut back, look at food budget, look at bills, look at anything we can save money on, and then that's how we can have 'disposable' income.

I find charity shops very expensive. Better off waiting for clearance sales in Argos, smyths, entertainer and Tesco. We never pay right price for anything. Ever.

😉 Good luck

Are you on Facebook? Some great bargains to be had on local selling pages if my area is anything to go by. Much cheaper than eBay.