Waking at night in nearly-2 yo- how to treat it?

[madmumNika]

DS is very neary 2, and has recently started to wake again in the night. He usually sleeps from 7:30pm to about 7am, right through (after a lot of work!) and has a good bedtime routine etc...and settles fine when put to bed. But last night for instance he woke at 12:30am (just as I was finishing some work!) and basically try as we might every time we put him back down he roared until at 2am we took him into our bed... he then thought woohoo what a great game so after 20 mins of that we stuck him back in his room again. Roar. DP went back in to him, at his wits end, and told hi to go to sleep, shut door firmly & after ten mins of grumbles he finally crashed asleep. Why such a battle? If he wakes in the night usually it's due to teething, and usually we can just give him calpol, a drink of water & he goes back to bed no problem. Sometimes he needs some milk but rarely...and that didn't work last night.

Any tips would be most welcome. I tend to be a bit of a softy but not any more as can't tolerate that sort of night too often (& it's happened a few times in the past 2 weeks).

Thank you for reading! xxx

We have this every night with dd 21 months and it has been going on for months. I have to pop her in my bed to keep her quiet as ds2 is autistic and if woken won't sleep again until the next night. He is up at around 4.30 am anyway. I wish i could sort dd out as i am suffering with lack of sleep as it is so would like the bit i do get to be unbroken. I will watch your thread closely for any advice.

You have my sympathies hun, interrupted sleep and sleep deprivation is hard.

I think this is quite common at this age, dd was the same when she hit 2. Try not to be a softy! We took the line that if she woke up and mummy and daddy pandered to her by giving her milk or letting her come into our bed, then the message was "if I wake up, I get lots of attention, way hey!, it's play time!!"
Have a sippy cup of water close to hand so you can go in, give ds a quick drink if he needs one, say "its time to sleep now", quick kiss then leave. That way he quickly learns that waking in the night gets him nothing, but if he is waking for a reason (thirst or afraid, for example) you are also being a caring mum!
You may need to go in 2 or 3 times as leaving him will lead to huge indignation (!) but persevere!
It is difficult, especially if you are trying not to wake everyone else in the house, or indeed the street. But a couple of nights of this should solve your problem in the long run!
Good luck!!!

We have had the same thing with our nearly 2 yr old, twice when he's been unsettled (once when we'd just come back from holiday, and once when we moved his bedroom). Both times the controlled crying technique solved it, although it took nerves of steel and it took about 3 nights each time.

Basically we left him for 5 minutes the first time before going in, then every time after that we added 2 minutes to the waiting time. Each time we went in we just said "It's night time, go back to sleep", offered him some water and put him back to bed. It's about showing them they are not being rewarded for making you come in, and also if every time they have to cry for a bit longer, it gets to a point where it's not worth it for them. A bit like an excess on an insurance policy.

It sounds harsh, but it works. Have been assured by a child psychologist that it doesn't damage the child.

DD is 20 months now and we do experience that every now and then. I go in and check on her, offer some water and put her back to bed. If I have the feeling she had a bad dream, we cuddle for a couple of minutes. If all that fails we use the controlled crying attempt as well. Sometimes it helps to tell her that Mommy and Daddy are tired and that all the other little girls and boys are sleeping. Good luck!

P. S.: Forgot to mention that dd not sleeping seems to depend on the phases of the moon as well. When it happens around a full moon, I just take her out of bed for some time and snuggle up with her in a rocking chair as I know she is wide awake anyway. DS of friends is the same.
XX

Thank you everyone! I hadn't realised there was a 'Sleep' board oops ! Luckily DS slept through last night, but that is a rarity! I think I do need to be more firm, DP is better than me at that but I will have to learn. We usually bring him downstairs when he wakes which is probably enough incentive in itself to keep doing it- even if he only gets water & a quick cuddle then!

I don't think he is scared of the dark, although a friend with a DS the same age uses a night light, so may have to try this if it keeps happening.

Mummy2aaron, you really have my sympathies ((((( ))))). All the firm or controlled crying methods are fine if you don't have to keep them quiet
We have relatives staying quite often which although isn't as bad (they will obviously go back to sleep after being woken!) it does still make me try to do anything to keep DS quiet...probably why I got into the habit of bringing him downstairs...mind you our house is quite small so noise travels anywhere!! The bunny clock sounds like a good idea though...I'm not sure DS is old enough to understand it but he probably is (I often underestimate how much he understands...& therefore how much of a monkey he is half the time )

Thank you for the tips...glad to know I'm not alone! Hope everyone gets peaceful nights soon xx