Struggling to cope.

[AD92]

Would really just like some kind words or helpful advice from you mums out there please.

My son is 5months old. At the beginning he had silent reflux and just spend the days crying or feeding. Shortly after we found out my dad has cancer.

Fast forward 5months LO Is over his reflux but we have been told that my dads cancer is inoperable and now all they can do is manage his symptoms. My parents live over an hour away from me and I am just really struggling with everything at the moment I feel like I'm not meant to be a mum I'm finding coping with looking after my baby all day really relentless. My partner works really long hours so Monday - Friday i literally have to do everything for my son from first thing in the morn to putting him to bed. I feel like I really just need a time out from being a parent so I can spend time with my dad. Everything is really overwhelming at the moment and have had thoughts about just walking out on my baby and partner. Any kind words or suggestions would be greatful. Thank you mums

It is relentless. I am sorry about your Dad

Do you feel you have bonded with your baby? I found slings helpful with this after a tricky start to parenting.

Do you get out and about to baby groups for you to speak to other mums?

Will you be going to work soon? Can you start putting your son in nursery so you can spend time with your Dad? Or can you go and stay with your parents for a couple of days a week or a near by travel lodge?

Yes I love him dearly he is such a character. Sometimes I feel like it's lack of sleep/me time mixed everything going on with my dad. Other times I worry could this be PND? Yes I do and I have my NCT group but I don't really feel I can talk like this to them lol. I'm not due back at work until next June but I would only go back two days as I couldn't bare missing out on time with him! I stayed at my mums the other week but LO is teething so was really upset in the night and then I feel like it's so unfair as it woke my dad up! My partner is off work next week so will go to my mums then! X

I am really sorry to hear about your Dad. Please go easy on yourself. I have no idea of your financial circumstances but can you stretch to a childminder or similar for a few hours a week.

You say you intend to go back to work so perhaps getting a few hours childcare set upon the right days now would give you that break and mean your child is already familiar with childcare when you go back to work. It doesn't need be long days.

Your partner probably needs to talk to him employer about some flexibility to support you too.

Financially we are fine to do that and I think it could help even just one day a week for a few hours!

My partners job is quite demanding and he is senior inbox his role so feels like his is unable that kind of 'bunk off' early.

It's just really difficult 5months is fairly demanding in the sense that they aren't mobile but want to be. Their are times where I'm really upset because of my dad but I can't be upset because it's not fair on my son!

💐 to you, its so hard when you're overwhelmed by caring responsibilities. I have been through something similar this year, very sick father in and out of hospital and high-need velcro baby. It's so so tough, hang in there. A little bit of childcare is a brilliant idea just to take some of the pressure off. My DS started going to a childminder 1 morning per week from about 6 months, then 2 mornings a week a bit later on, and it actually worked well as a settling-in period ahead if md going back to work, as the PP suggested.

Do you have siblings or other close family who you can talk to to share the emotional burden of it?
Hopefully you will find your baby that bit easier after the first few teeth and once they start crawling, and you might feel like it's more feasible to spend time at you parents without worrying about disturbing their space or routine.