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Parenting

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Original poster

18 month old and dinnertime

13 replies

Dottydoodoo · 17/09/2017 18:28

Please help me mumsnet, I am at a complete loss!

My DS is 18 months old tomorrow. He is a fussy eater but will eat a limited variation of breakfast and lunch, and has healthy snacks through the day if he wants something (not every day) but I just cannot get him to eat dinner. He will eat, but it is usually a slice of toast or a sandwich after he has refused to eat what he has been offered. He always eats his pudding which is fruit and yoghurt or occasionally custard.

I'm not worried about how much he is eating as his weight is fine, or even what he is eating to a point, but I'm worried that I am going about this all wrong. I don't know if giving toast/sandwich as an alternative is right, I'm not sure if I should give pudding if he refuses his main but the thought of him going to bed hungry breaks my heart.

My DM says it's a phase and he will grow out of it, but it's been going on for over a month! He won't even try his dinner, sometimes I can coax him to put a bit of something in his mouth but unless it's a chip it just comes rolling straight back out again and he will refuse to try any more.

Please help me, if anyone has any advice or stories similar to this and has come out the other side then please share them with me. At this rate I'm going to end up in the daily mail with a sad face as a woman whose DC only ate marmite on toast for 15 years 😩!

Thank you, sorry it's so long.

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HandbagFan · 17/09/2017 19:39

Have you tried giving him 'dinner' at lunchtime?

Digestive28 · 17/09/2017 19:46

Just going through this with my youngest. Basically they do the breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. It's probably what we all should be doing.
I wouldn't worry but think about what they are eating in the day overall and ensuring that they get a decent balance across 24 hours/a week, by dinner they are tired and not so hungry so forcing it is no fun for anyone. Good luck and hope it is short lived

LML83 · 17/09/2017 19:54

I think you are doing the right thing giving alternative as he has a healthy diet and you aren't concerned with amount or variety.

If you don't he will likely wake up at night hungry.

When he is older you can try insisting he eats a certain amount rather than getting toast. Maybe age 3 or 4.

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tappitytaptap · 17/09/2017 19:56

I think Handbagfan's idea is a good one. They do this at our nursery (and I'm guessing most nurseries) and sarnies at tea time. Might be more willing to try stuff then? I have an (almost)18 month old too, and he seems to be slightly the opposite, not eating as much breakfast as he used to (and so I think a bit grouchy in the morning) the gorging on food and milk.in the evenings!

user1474462227 · 17/09/2017 20:41

I really wouldn't worry. Your child is eating breakfast and lunch so that is great. I use to worry so much with my Ds1 that it use to cause me anxiety and I couldn't enjoy motherhood as I use to focus on his feeding too much. When he was 2-3 yrs old he became a better eater as he understood that he had to eat dinner etc otherwise no snacks etc. If a child is hungry they will eat and a sandwich is still healthy. When my Ds2 (15 months ) refuses to eat , I leave it and try again later or give him toast and fruit/ yogurt.

Original poster

Dottydoodoo · 19/09/2017 13:04

Thank you for your replies. I will try and chill out about it!

Handbagfan I have tried that a couple of times and it didn't make any difference. Lunchtime can sometimes be difficult because he has a nap straight after and depending on what we have been doing, when he woke up etc it can be a bit tricky! I'm more than willing to try again though.

Although it's frustrating for us all I'm pleased to know there are others in the same situation. I'll keep cooking and offering and I'm sure he will get it eventually. I've never heard of a teenager who would turn down pizza in favour of a nice bit of toast with marmite!!

OP posts:

Bryna · 19/09/2017 13:09

Have you tried just serving up toast on his plate, while you really enjoy your tea? He may just decide that he needs to eat some of yours instead!

Nowifi · 19/09/2017 13:53

My DD is the same, I think she would live on bananas and pasta if she could at the moment that's what she is living on

Scotinoz · 19/09/2017 14:03

Both of mine went through a phase of not really eating dinner, and I think it was because they were just too tired by dinner time.

As someone else suggested, try a cooked lunch then just a picnic type dinner (sandwiches, yoghurt etc). Mine still has a cup of milk before bed at that age too.

If they're sleeping well, and eating enough over the course of the day, I wouldn't worry too much.

confused123456 · 19/09/2017 14:11

My little boy is 2. When he was 18 months he would have breakfast at home, lunch at the childminders on weekdays. Sometimes he wouldn't want his dinner in the evening if he was still full.
At weekends he had lunch at home and dinner at home.
But sometimes we found that if he had lunch he wouldn't eat dinner, ana if he didn't have lunch he would eat his dinner.
We thought that he simply didn't want 2 hot meals a day, so we started only giving him a sandwich for lunch, and he still eats his dinner. So I think it was just too much. (I couldn't eat 3 meals a day I know that for a fact).

Mamabear4180 · 19/09/2017 14:14

I've been in this situation for the past year! My 2.8 year old is exactly the same and has been since the same age as your son. Sometimes a hot meal in the middle of the day did work but overall it wasn't the answer. My DD just went off hot dinners basically. There were a couple she still ate like spagetti bolognaise and chicken and chips but not many. Cutting out the pudding didn't work, nor did cutting out her bedtime milk. In fact the best thing which worked...drum roll please..was serving dishes! If it was say cottage pie and veg, I would put the cottage pie dish on the table with a spoon, the veg on the table with a spoon and some extra bits-bread and butter, salad in pots, maybe some sweetcorn and I let her serve herself. Sometimes she would just have bread and salad (I might cut some cheese for her) but the novelty of serving herself mean't she would often put things on her plate and eat a little bit. I was just chilled about what she ate. She's still a picky eater but I make hot meals because my baby and teen loves them. The 2 year old does her own thing and is healthy and chunky so I'm not worried. HTH

Mamabear4180 · 19/09/2017 14:17

But sometimes we found that if he had lunch he wouldn't eat dinner, and if he didn't have lunch he would eat his dinner.

Yes! So many toddlers are like this. They tend to prefer eating little and often so 3 meals can be too much. My DD would eat a good breakfast and lunch and skip dinner.

sleepymama81 · 19/09/2017 14:23

My 17m old is similar. She usually eats breakfast and lunch nicely and will eat dinner if it's picky bits but won't eat a hot meal at dinner time. It's drives me mad.

I end up making her things like a cheese omelette, crumpets, toast, etc things like that at dinner - if I dish up pasta, shepherds pie, meat & veg, stuff like that she just ignores it, cries if I try to spoon feed her or throws it on the floor.

It's very frustrating! I've tried giving her these meals at lunchtime too, makes no difference for me. I think she's just a bit of a grazer at the moment. She prefers finger foods.

No advice from me, but you're not alone. Toddlers are annoying

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