Clingy baby tips

[FannyTheFlamingo]

Does anyone have any tips on how to help a really clingy 10 month old overcome her separation anxiety??

I literally can't leave the room. I have no childcare support from family and my partner works long hours and is away every other weekend, so he helps when he can. I have hired a nanny who works a few hours 2 days a week, just to try to get DD used to someone else and so I can do a bit of cleaning/washing/ironing etc.. but most of the time it ends up the 3 of us playing together as DD won't be without me. She crys hysterically.

If anyone has any ideas, I'd be very grateful!

Mine was the same at that age if I was in the room, but she was fine with other people if I wasn't around, as long as handover was quick.

What happens if you leave without her noticing while she's engaged with the nanny? Or is she hyper vigilant of where you are?

My DD is the same so I have no advice just sympathies and

If I leave the room while she's playing with the nanny, sometimes it'll take her 5-10 mins to realise I'm not there, then the tears start. But if she's not being distracted, she'll cry as soon as I'm out of sight. I thought she might have grown out of it, but it seems to be getting worse. She has to fall asleep on me and usually ends up in our bed at night.

You have to do it kind of gradually, you can't just go from having her superglued to you to away from you.
So first you get her really involved with a toy or activity then you step a few feet away and just comment on what she's doing so she knows you are watching her.
Then you go a bit further away but still within her vision.
Next you do a different activity yourself and tell her what you are doing, ok poppet I'm just emptying the dishwasher
Repeat when the nanny is there until you can leave her without her freaking out.

@LapinR0se Done all that. Tried a childminder first, had loads of setting in sessions, me in the room, outside the room, took it gradually. First time I left her, I had to go and get her after 30 mins. Tried the same with the nanny - all very gradual, over a good few weeks now, and no change.

Why is her being clingy a problem? It's a normal developmental stage and often signifies a milestone about to be reached

In my opinion, you're actually making things worse by trying to force her out of it and introducing all these unfamiliar settings and people.

Independence stems from DEpendance. Having a strong connection/attachment to you is what gives children the confidence to go forth into the world and explore at the appropriate time in their development.

Honestly, just chill out a bit. She's only tiny.

@medicalmumof4 I have chosen the nanny route to minimise the new settings and people - 1 new person and in the comfort of her own home. I would also like to be able to go back to work for 2 days a week. I'm very lucky for this to not be a necessity at the moment, but most mothers I know went back to work when their little ones were 9-12 months old. You're suggesting that only mums without clingy babies should do this!!

I agree with medicalmum. It's a completely normal milestone, won't last forever, and is a sign of a strong bond which you should be proud of. I say this as a mum of a baby the same age, so I know it gets wearing at times.