Struggling with baby

[Grumblepants]

My ds is 11 months and he's always been hard work and a cryer. But recently I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm so stressed I cry every day, my hair is falling out and DH and I are so tired we just row all the time.
DS has usually been OK with sleeping at night but the past month this has gone out the window. He would always wake if his dummy fell out, but we would just pop it back in and he'd fall asleep again. But now he wakes 2 to 3 times a night for anything from 1 to 2 hours a time. So we just aren't getting any sleep at all.
During the day he has 2 naps but only half an hour, so I can't rest then as I have house work to do. And tgese naps only happen after he has had a screaming fit and clawed at my face and kicked out at me as i try and hold him. Plus he will moan and cry throughout the day, especially at meal times. He follows me everywhere and wants to be held so I can't do anything other than give him all my attention for every second of the day. If I try and sit down he will climb on me and try and grab my phone, coffee, tablet etc so I just don't bother anymore.
How do I get him to sleep and stop moaning all day. I can't keep going on like this. I understand being a parent is hard work but even my 'mum' friends admit my ds is the most difficult baby they know. I'm sure there is other stuff I wanted to say, but I can't think straight.
I just want to enjoy my baby.
Has anyone else been through similar and we did you get it to improve.

The random being awake in the middle of the night for hours was always a sign that my DCs were about to achieve a big milestone (crawling/walking/talking). Good news is it stopped shortly after the milestone was mastered.

It's so hard. It's not too late to use a sling to help get your DS to sleep. And can be used for when he wants to be picked up throughout the day. Will be easier on your back and will give you your hands back, Will he sleep better in the buggy/car?

Is he better out of the house? I would be out more if that was the case. Is a cleaner an option to give you some time back while you get through this phase?

DS was hard work and i used a sling/buggy to get him to sleep until he was about 2. Dummy was in his mouth a lot. Coslept from birth out of necessity. I was out and about a lot as he was less whingy. You have to just do whatever you need for your own sanity.

Thank you ODog, yes he is better out of the house and around other people and I try and get him out as much as possible. It's just that means I never get to sit down and rest for a few mins as I'm always on the go.
We are going to get a cleaner when I go back to work so I'm really looking forward to not having to worry about that.
It just all seems so constant and because he is my first I don't have the milestones to compare. So it currently seems like the difficult stage will never end.

He sounds absolutely desperately overtired. Are you still using the dummy? How is his eating and drinking?

I'd keep an eye on his health. DS1 was unhappy until he was diagnosed and treated at 5. Does he get lots of colds?

I had one of these babies. It's so, so hard, especially when everyone else seems to have it much easier. I think some babies just don't really like being babies, and mine was one of them! She cried all the time, didn't nap, got up early, hated affection, everything!

Tbh, I found the first two years a hard, often miserable slog. The best thing is to accept that he is the way he is and just try to get through it and do whatever it takes to make life as easy and bearable as possible. I found telly (for her), lots of long walks and cake and wine (for me) helped a little bit.

My miserable baby is now five, and is amazing- I wouldn't change her for the world! I do sometimes feel sad that her baby years weren't happier, but whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger and all that shit.

Also, my second baby was a million times easier. Me and my husband often wonder what it'd have been like if we'd had them the other way around!

It's shit, but you WILL get through it and you will enjoy being a parent all the more for having had it so hard at the start.

I don't think half an hour is a full sleep cycle so maybe he isn't getting the benefit from his naps? Is there any chance of re-jigging the naps so that he sleeps longer?

Will he nap in the buggy? Even if you could get him to stay asleep a bit longer (45 mins plus) while e.g. in the buggy, then after a week or so his body will adapt to sleeping for that length of time and he could transfer to cot for naps.

Hope things get better soon. I found 12 months a real milestone with all of mine

Is there any chance he could be in pain with anything? Possibly teeth, if he is fussing at meal times. Or possibly even food allergy? Any digestive or skin issues?

NaughtyNIP- thank you for your input, thats helpful.
He has had health issues in the past. Nothing really serious but he had bad silent reflux and intolerance to cows milk. So the hv said he probably just got used to crying so it's normal to him to cry so much.
Babayaggatheboneylegged- you might be right about him not liking being a baby. Weird as it sounds he does seem frustrated at not being able to walk or tell me what he wants.
He is starting nursery next month and I'm part terrified that he will be such hard work, they won't want him. But on the other hand maybe it will tire him out so he starts sleeping.
LapinR0se- yes we are still using the dummy. I'm too scared to get rid of it yet and risk upsetting him more. He eats and drinks loads. He is a very health weight (98th centile).