Morning routine + extra child nightmare

[ZenNudist]

A school mum i am friendly with has asked to drop her ds (Adam) at my house early morning and i take him to breakfast club with my ds. Its only for a couple of days. I will have a nursery run to do first before dropping the kids at school.

Im already on a knife edge timing to get my two into nursery and school. Traffic is awful and if im not away from the school dead on time then i miss out on parking in car park at work and have to park miles away. Lateness ensues and difficulty getting away at days end.

My dc are silly and act up but i have a good morning routine so im not always late.

Now the problem, Adam and my ds1 are really silly when together. Adam has form for not doing anything I ask. Ds2 is also going to be harder to handle than usual as he will think its party time. Im worried its going to be a nightmare.

Im going to have to get them all into and out of the car twice and nursery have a really complicated dropping off process that is a real PITA and I'm worried i will end up with the older two running riot in nursery and then being difficult/ impossible to get back in the car.

How do i get Adam and my ds to behave?

Any tips about discipline for other people's dc?

Any tactful way to ask my friend to warn her ds beforehand to behave?

My own ds i can handle but before now Adam has run Amok in a shop whilst i was minding him and I was only shopping as a favour to his mum. Also he has flatly refused to leave my house before now so dont know what i do if he digs his heels in.

My friend has no idea how badly Adam behaved last time I had him round. Since then I ve got dh to handle the play dates as hes better at it than me.

Help much appreciated 😔😔😔

Adam behave or I shall open the car door and you can walk to school. .
Adams dm if Adam doesn't behave you will have to make alternative arrangements. .

How old are the boys? You can't leave them strapped in the car whilst you do nursery drop?

Reversing the drop-off order won't work?

You will just have to be shouty sergeant major type (and tell friend earlier than you need to make a buffer).

Adam and ds1 are 6, ds2 is 3.5.

Nursery opens earlier than school which is why it has to be first.

Was seriously considering leaving them in car but alarm will go off. Nursery have me go in and drop ds2 at room upstairs which involves a queue to sign in so takes quite a while. Longer than i can leave 2 6 year olds unattended in a car.

Im not even confident i can get them out of my house in the first plsce but am going to make it clear to ds1 its not play time so adam not going to be allowed upstairs or to get toys out.

Pre-warn work you've got a stressful few days.

Ask another nursery mum/dad if they can sign DS2 in for you?

Tell friend you can't take Adam?

Will they fall for a competition? Like, whoever is the best listener I will be telling the teacher at the end of the 2 days or some such?

Or a list each of every stage that has to happen and stickers to stick on when they've done it eg one for getting in house, one for behaving nicely at nursery etc. Then they can show their teacher at the end (or do a prize if you're desperate, not sensible as-a-rule parenting but it's only 2 days)?

Plantsitter. Good idea. Competitions are currently how i get my two up and out the house. Thing is getting them strapped in is a faff with 3 so my usual seat belt race isnt going to work.

Would have just said no but figure i will try and make it work to help out a friend.

Some people seem to be better than others at keeping children in line. I am usually reluctant to tell off some elses child, especially when ds1 is involved in the silliness. I just tell ds1 off but spare the friends. I will only tell off other kids for outright dangerous behaviour (like when my NDN aged 9 rode his bike down our slide and tried to get ds1 to copy him!).

Adam has proved impervious to my tellings off before. He just shouted "you're not my mum!" At me 🤤

I like the chart idea. Im think thats my best bet. Thanks. Still how do you handle wild kuds?

You can just tell them off - if their parent is not around, you're in charge. If one shouted at me "You're not my parent!" I'd say "No, but I am in charge today, and I shall be telling Mum later how difficult you've been. Now, get your seatbelt on/coat on/into the car etc".

Kids do need boundaries and it's OK to enforce them and pull them up on bad behaviour if you see it. Otherwise they'll see that you're reluctant to discipline them, and take advantage.

Good luck!

Ring the mum if he won't leave the house or won't get into the car.

Tell her you are worried about having him because he can't follow instructions and can she talk to him beforehand.

If he plays up refuse to do any more mornings.

Tell them you've got a little surprise for them (breakfast bar) but they can only have it once you reach school if they have followed instructions.

Tell them both off. If he shouts you're not my mother, tell him you're in charge and he will do as he is told. Ring his mum if you have to and tell her how awful he's being

Also allow more time. So get up half an hour earlier. Walk out the door 15 minutes earlier. Get to school early.

I am planning on trying to be calm with them rather than shouting because last time shouting did not work and it was really embarrassing.

I think I'm still traumatised by the time he ran around John Lewis with a bra on his head! Then climbed on a shop model and shouted boobies!

You're going to have to get him to hold your hand all the time if he's that bad, er, spirited.

I also suggest getting ready for when they get to your house and then straight in the car, even if that means listening to a story in the car for a bit when you get to nursery!

By the way, of course it's fine to be strict or shouty with other people's kids, it's just always better to avoid having to by making it practically difficult for them to misbehave!