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Original poster

Star charts - what if they stop working

23 replies

Justine (mumsnet) · 14/07/2004 11:43

Help - any advice for one of the problems on the TV show we've come up against. Star charts were working well for three year-old but now she's lost interest. Has this happened to anyone and how have they kept things fresh?
Thanks in advance,
Justine, Carrie and Rachel

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Twiglett · 14/07/2004 12:23

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SoupDragon · 14/07/2004 12:27

Switch to the "pasta jar" approach with financial rewards?

DSs have a jar which has 5 pieces of pasta in it on a Saturday morning. Through the week they can earn more bits or lose them for "naughtiness". On Saturday morning, they get swapped for 10p per piece and the jar is reset to 5 pieces. DSs are 5 and 3 and even the 3 year old seems to have grasped the idea since, if he's crying and won't stop, all I have to do is to say "if you don't stop crying, I'll take a piece of pasta away" and miraculously he's stopped within seconds.

codswallop · 14/07/2004 12:28

ditto in ds1 s school
just seen advsbnt style ones in M and s foods

with CHOCOLATES

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codswallop · 14/07/2004 12:28

yes agree with twig - you shouldnt need them all t he time

moniker · 14/07/2004 12:32

Can I vote for hte pasta jar too! I got the idea from Soupy on another thread ans started it with my 3(next month) and 5 year old DSs and it's working really well so far. It very visual (I am using tricolour spirals with the white ones taken out in little kilner jars)and you can take pasta away as well as give it which you can't do with stars. It's also cheap to set up - 55p for the pasta and jars I already had. Thanks Soupy for the idea!

Twiglett · 14/07/2004 12:35

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SoupDragon · 14/07/2004 12:52

The pasta I use is some out of date tricolour alphabet letters (cheapskate). The only pasta DS2 eats is the long spirally type so they're completely different. As the reward pasta is dry, I don't think they see it as being the same as the soft edible stuff anyway. Not that mine eat a lot of pasta.

Make sure it's an unusual pasta and you keep the supply out of reach or it could cost you a fortune

I have to confess that I stole the idea from a friend of a friend. I liked the idea of being able to hiss "pasta!" menacingly at my children in public and have them behave instantly...

codswallop · 14/07/2004 12:53

like at photo booths ds?

M and s ( sorry)do football shapes and dolphins

codswallop · 14/07/2004 12:54

or was it a chemists?

moniker · 14/07/2004 13:17

Mine don't eat pasta I'm afraid! But if/when they do I shall have to avoid tricolour spirals!! Didn't know you could get letters though!! As our packet was in date I shall personally be eating the white spirals at some point I expect!!!! And they can't open the kilner jars either!! HAha!

I even checked how many spirals would fit in the jar and it was over a 100 - I think at 10p a piece a half full jar is the highest I hope they get for now!!

katierocket · 14/07/2004 13:27

great idea soupdragon. Will have to try that with DS when he's a few months older

SoupDragon · 14/07/2004 13:45

It was a chemists, Coddy, and we didn't have the pasta jars then. Oddly enough, I initiated Project Pasta shortly afterwards.

throckenholt · 14/07/2004 14:48

my ds1 - he is 3 on Friday - was keen on a star chart during potty training in order to get his toy tractor as reward - once he got the tractor he has given up potty training and couldn't care less about the star chart !

Am interested in the answers !

roisin · 14/07/2004 20:46

Another vote for SoupDragon's pasta jars ... We started ours about a week ago, and I can't wait for the Saturday count-up, as ds2 has done loads more chores than ds1, so has more pasta.

We do concentrate more on putting bits in than taking them out, but just the threat of doing so is pretty powerful.

Thank you again Soupdragon and mumsnet!

PS: I'm only 'paying' 5p per piece of pasta!

Another plus of this system is bribery in public. Sometimes I have been known to bribe my children to behave at swimming lessons ... and then felt rather self-conscious when they come out of the pool, I say "well done" and they ask (loudly) how much money they're getting. NOW they'll ask how much pasta they're getting ... and everyone will think I'm a real earth mother.

roisin · 14/07/2004 20:59

To return to Justine's query:

I find star charts very effective with one of my sons (but not the other), but you have to put a lot of effort in to maintain the momentum. I tend to use a star chart for a maximum of 5 or 7 days for a very specific problem, as a way of breaking a pattern of behaviour. Then always having a break before using another one - so that each one is fresh.

Also, I always make a star/sticker/tick chart myself ... different shapes, colours ... different layouts, different rewards, different stickers to aim for: so they actually appear very different. I put them up in different places around the house too. Having the same chart up day in day out week in week out, with just different behavioural targets can get very boring for everybody.

Twiglett · 14/07/2004 21:01

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roisin · 14/07/2004 21:09

ROFL

irishjewels · 14/07/2004 21:15

hmmm - not sure if i should admit this but up until 2mins ago i thought you were all obsessed with horoscopes for your kids!!!

Thats why i never took the time to read a star-chart thread before....

can you tell i'm first time mum?

roisin · 14/07/2004 21:17

PMSL

How old is your baby irishjewels? You too will be designing multicoloured all-singing, all-dancing positive behaviour motivating charts soon I promise you!

SoupDragon · 14/07/2004 22:06

LOL @ Mr Twiglett and also irishjewels. I'm taking it as a sign of my good parenting skills that astrology never crossed my mind with this thread!!

Roisin, people probably think you don't feed your children unless they're good

irishjewels · 14/07/2004 22:18

ds 27mths, he's probably been waiting for me to introduce aforementioned charts for AGES!

Actually it would probably be more appropriate if he had star chart for me, i could earn a star for every hour i stayed off mn since i discovered it.

GeorginaA · 14/07/2004 22:20

Project Pasta really appeals - but can I ask what pasta gets awarded for? I don't really want "normal" chores to be rewarded with money (like picking toys up etc) but at the same time would like him to feel that he's getting somewhere with the rewards. Do you find that you engineer it towards the end of the week to be a bit more strict with rewards so you don't have to pay out as much?

Easy · 14/07/2004 22:52

Wow, Thank you, Thank you.

I've been using a star chart (well smileys) to monitor ds's behaviour since daddy started working away 5 weeks ago, now even I've got bored with it.

As I was just thinking of introducing pocket money for ds (he's nearly 5), this could kill 2 birds with one stone. Now I just need a glass jar and some pretty pasta.

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