Bottle before bed or not? Please help settle the score!

[Fullofscarsandstories]

So I've been out of action for 2 weeks as I've just had Open heart surgery and while I'm unable to parent or literally do anything (for 6 weeks) my partner is the main carer. Our daughter is 10 months old with a milk allergy and fully weaning.

The only argument we have is he says giving her a bottle before bed is a bad idea and will make her poop.

My argument is that she wakes once at 12 and once at three for a bottle in the night (Which atm he has to feed her) But I believe if he gives her one before bed at half past 7 it may cut put the 12am feed.

Thing is he isn't even willing to try it, he says nope I've got my routine and a bottle before bed will make her shit (that only happens on a morning.)

I do sit in a chair and do all the day time food feeds, I just can't have her on my knee.
He has got her down to 2 bottles a day. One on a morning and one at 3pm. But I don't think that's enough considering she is dairy intolerant and is obviously still waking in the night because her body needs more.

He thinks I'm picking at him and I've tried the nice approach but he gets all antsy and says I'm picking apart his parenting. Which just isn't true.

I do however feel like my voice is being ignored.
Opinions on this subject would be great.

P.s I'm up every night with her and him every time she wakes up and I try hold her hand ect but I'm not of much use because I'm in quite some pain x

First of all, so sorry you've been so poorly and for your recovery.

My DD was on FOUR bottles a day at that age, including one at bedtime. She did not poo at night!

Would it help to get an objective voice eg from the health visitor? I think any HV would tell you to keep up the bottle at that age he might listen to an 'expert'.

But does he have form for not listening to your views?

The health visitor told HIM to get her down on bottles and more on finger foods. I wasn't there because I was in hospital. But I've a right mind to ring her because I'm quite angry about that. I work on the Labour ward and have had 4 children so it upset me she was judgey.

Although my partner takes information and transforms it to suit him. He's terrified of trying her with anything Becasue she has a diary intolerance and because he's the main caregiver it's hard to argue.
But two bottles for a baby that has no other forms of dairy Intake doesn't seem enough.
It's like talking to a brick wall.

Oh than you I'm getting stronger by the day and looking forward to parenting fully again lol (as sad as that sounds)

Unfortunately he does have form. He doesn't like others opinions..
People question him and he's a bad dad.
He questions them and he's just trying his best..
Pot kettle, yep I know x

Sorry to hear if your op OP. Best wishes for a full and speedy recovery

My DS always had a bottle before bed, right up until he was weaned right off milk altogether. He was on 3 bottles a day at that age - morning, afternoon and just before bed. He didn't poo at night. It helped settle him at bedtime. He wouldn't sleep all the way through the night if he didn't get a bottle before bed.

TheUpsideDown
Thank you, it was a good operation for me. Hard recovering but I'll have a much better quality of life with my kiddies...

This is exactly my argument and I honestly think we have a chance she could sleep through. But he won't here it. Because I'm not the one dealing with it.
Think I've just had enough today.

Hear*

At ten months old her main source of calories should be milk. I have never heard of people cutting out the bedtime bottle before others, I'd have thought it would be the last to go?

My 2 year old still has milk at bedtime. It's pretty normal!

I've often read on here to try and get the bottles into the baby in the daytime (including bedtime), so that she has less need for them overnight.

That's what I thought Nottalotta.

My DS was on 3 bottles at that age including one before bed, he's now 18 months and still has a bottle before bed (I know we should be trying to stop this now - have successfully got him onto a cup of milk in the morning but the bedtime bottle is harder as it's so much a part of his bedtime routine)

I think your DH is mad to get up and do two nighttime feeds when he could just give her one at bedtime!!

Hi OP. My DS stopped feeding overnight from about 6 months. We kept the bedtime bottle until he was 15 months (teeth brushed afterwards) and even now at age 2 he has a cup of warm milk before bed. This seems to be pretty common with friends his age. The milk has 2 purposes - his routine and making sure he's had enough calories to get through the night without waking up (not so relevant now, but a big one when he was a baby)

At that age both my DDs were only having a bottle upon waking and one right before bed... they stopped the morning one soon after but were having a warm milk before bed till at about 18 months old.

I thought milk was still the main source of nutrition until age 1? I'm pretty sure my DS was still having at least 3 bottles a day - including 1 before bed - at a year old. He still has milk in the morning with his breakfast and milk at 6pm before bedtime at 7,