I need some advice. I know people will judge me but I'm hoping people will understand how and why this situation happened.
I was with my ex 11yrs n he woke up one day left n never came back. Said he didn't want it anymore but still loved me. I was hurt confused blamed myself. We had two children who were 5 and 7. U had to pretend all was ok while I was dying inside. Started drinking bottle wine or two at night something I had never done. All the time keeping myself together. Then I did a line of coke. It was like my way of getting at my ex. (stupid I know). My children are my world I spent every moment with them. But soon I fell in to bad relationship with a man who beat me but I kept it a secret again. Was now doing a lot more coke. Relationship carried on for 2 yrs (u know the whole his sorry he loves me). Anyway it ended bad. U moved on. But the coke stayed. My family found out and my oldest went to stay with his dad who up until now has only seen his children 8 hrs every other weekend n never over nite his choice. Now my other child went to and it has been 10 months I am completely clean moved out of area. See my children at my mum's. But he will NOT let me have them over night. He has blocked my number. He drinks and swears at kids they hate it. But their school is there. I don't want to uproot them but I have every right as I have looked after them for 13yrs alone. He is using them now. Won't accept drug test. Which I would do every week. He drunk drives but says I'm a druggie. He dis when he was young but now won't admit he has drink problem. What should I do. Go through courts.
He also has no parental rights over my oldest and yet managed to get him a passport and take him abroad. He works till 10 at nite and doesn't spend no time with them. He palms them off.
Help please