Weaning woes...

[CosyPinkBlanket]

Hi, so I'm still breastfeeding my 13-month dd. She's day weaned as I'm back at work and she is at nursery but I'm really struggling with night weaning her. She's waking 6-7 times a night to feed/nurse and she's refusing to give up being fed to sleep. As I say, I'm back at work now and I'm exhausted as it's every night. Bedtimes are a battle and if she's asleep by 11pm after feeding/nursing for 2 hours then I count that as a success. She's a very strong willed little girl and Friday night and Saturday night she screamed for 2 hours each night before I gave up and fed her. She's emptied me out tonight and I can't let her nurse as it's too painful for me and she's not going to sleep. Her dad has taken her off me and she's still screaming and crying! I'm looking to stop breastfeeding is that she has made a hole at the base of each nipple and the pain is toe-curling. I've tried nipple shields but that was met with hysterics. I've tried moist healing patches and I've tried letting the air at my nipples but because of her waking so often through the night, I'm not getting a chance to heal. Also, I'd be happy to feed her through the pain (which isn't too bad when she's properly feeding) but she likes to hang on for literally hours afterwards just nursing. Whenever I take her off she starts screaming! I can't do cold turkey with her as I find it too upsetting. We will also be looking to move her into her own room soon but I figured one thing at a time. Does anyone have any advice or words of encouragment? x

You have my sympathies. I had to wean at about 15 months to have a medical procedure. Also already day weaned as back at work.

I used Dr Jay Gordon as a basis and did a gradual version so dropping the feed to sleep first then the nights. I think I rationalised it would be easier that way but I can't remember why.

The only way my ds would go to sleep apart from being fed at that stage was in a sling so I basically held him in that position and bounced him until he fell asleep. It took about 3 days and there was a lot of crying but he got used to it. I tried other things like bouncing on a ball, rocking chair, singing etc I wanted to be the one to do it so I could reassure him that I would give other comfort. I also knew once I had decided to do it I needed to be strong and stick with it otherwise the tears would be for nothing. I talked to him a lot whilst he was crying explaining what we were doing (more for my benefit than his). It was hard but he is now a lovely cuddly 2 1/2 year old.

drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

It's so hard Tepid. Her dad put her down last night (with no mummy feeding to sleep) and she went down with only a bit of whingeing at 9pm. I was practically doing cartwheels! She slept for an hour, woke at 10pm crying and looking for me but her dad went. She settled again after about 40 mins but whenever he tried to put her down she woke up! So after an hour or so of this, I fed her and she was drifting and nursing. Anyway, cut a long story short, she emptied both boobs but was still hysterical when I took her off and ended up being fed rice pudding at midnight. It was 2am when she eventually went down and she still woke twice to feed between 2am and 6.15am!!! And I had to work today. That link is really helpful. I need to try something! I think I'm going to try and keep going until she is a tiny bit older and I think she understands (like you explaining to ds) and then I'll attempt the explaining and just giving cuddles, no nursing.

Hugs. It is so hard if they aren't ready but it needs to work for both of you. The other thing we did was introduce a straw cup of water. It took a bit of work to teach him how to use a straw but it meant I had an option in case he wanted fluid. If you think she might be hungry could you give an extra cup of milk, or something like weetabix, before bed in addition to a feed. It's hard as breastfeeding is more than just satisfying hunger/thirst but i found if you reduce the possibility it might be hunger/thirst then I felt better about just offering alternative comfort. Another thing to think about (which if course you may have already) is introducing a comforter (even an old tshirt of yours)

She had two dinners last night and slept a lot better. She must be going through a growth spurt and my milk isn't enough to satisfy her anymore. We're going to try and move her into her own room soon so will probably use the comforter idea then to (hopefully) make the transition easier. Yes, it's so hard knowing that they like to nurse for comfort too.