What makes a spoilt child?

[hunkermunker]

Is it possible for a child to have a lot of "stuff" and not be spoilt?

FNCF - Sadly, I too 'share' my pc! She keeps looking on Ebay for cheap DS games though, because she doesn't get much pocket money! I'm I too hard do you think!

talking of appreciation - dh took dd swimming on sunday and she lost her googles and asked if dh would get her some more please. He said, well if you pay for them this time, maybe you'll look after them a bit better! She also left her locker open with all her clothes in it and dh hid them. When she panicked because she had 'lost' them, he produced them and said 'and what valuable leason have we learnt today then!' God we really are very mean parents aren't we!

Shit, I'm actually really upset about this

God, I'm mental!

Obviously I meant goggles NOT googles - thats a bit like loosing your marbles, but hunkermunker wouldn't know that, coz she didn't have any!!

Oh Hunkermunker have a hug!

I wasn't spoiled as a child but I was taught appreciation & that's so important!

My Charge is still thanking me for the fantastic Xmas present I gave her which makes me proud as she is very spoiled by all of her relatives, friends of the family!

Its ok, she's notoriously blonde at times, she does take a joke very well and frankly gives as good as she gets!She's 11 btw.

I feel bad now about the marbles joke, we've got loads hunkermunker - wanna share?

I wonder if you can be too appreciative of things? I am always pathetically grateful if anyone does anything nice for me (and a bit suspicious, if truth be told), because I really don't think I'm worth it - but I love doing nice things for other people, so why can't I see that they might just want to do something nice for me?

God, for someone who's so bolshy and confident, I have serious self-esteem issues, I think!

LOL Princesscc - thanks

hunkermunker, some people are just naturally more giving than others...I'm not good at receiving gifts & stuff, not sure why!?!...I give lots of gifts & am always thinking of other people.

I feel like that sometimes. On DH & DD birthday, I always make a big fuss. Put decs up and make a cake and generally put in a really big effort. On my birthday this year, dh kept saying is there anything you want me to do, what can I cook you for tea etc and I just kept saying, no it's fine, I'll do it. No-one makes me a cake or puts decorations up either.

I know an eleven year old boy who is incredibly privileged, but is the most amazing child you could hope to meet. He is polite, amenable, kind - just lovely. He IS unusual though.

It's about a child's basic character and how they relate to others, not necessarily what material possessions they have.

One of DS1's very first words was please, so I guess that's a good starting point

Thanks, guys - sorry for the mad insight into my weird psyche... Have got to go to bed - have to be up for a ten-hour shift in five hours...

Night hunker, I should go to bed too as have to be up for my 11 1/4 hour shift in 5 hours!

I used to have rows with MIL over this, because she would say I was spoiling DS by buying him things, whereas I thought she was more likely to spoil him by letting him do whatever he wanted, and saying yes to things after I'd said no......

parents make a spoilt child.

oh, and grandparents - but that's still the parents fault!

it's not about how much stuff you give them, more about do they always get everything they want - demand! do you work hard to make everything their own way, make them feel they matter more than anyone else - of course they do to you, but you also have to teach them the rest of the world doesnt care that they're your little darling! accept no possibility of them being in the wrong. ever. lash out at teachers who don't suitably fawn, hate other kids who don't comply with your child's wishes......

parents ruin a child in the same way that some dog owners ruin a dog by letting it think it has the highest position in the pack.

erm. that is possibly the worst analogy in the history of mumsnet. i hope you get what i mean! if you don't i fully expect to hear about it for at least 682 posts!!

I get what you mean and am sniggering gently at "if you don't i fully expect to hear about it for at least 682 posts!!" - never a truer word!