Hi ladies! Just look for some advice on wether I'm doing the right thing. Outsiders opinion
My son is 2.
Basically myself and child's father spilt, I had to get an occupation order as he refused to leave, even though he wasn't paying towards the property atall. Anyway in the court order - occupation order, it states that our son is to live with me and child's father can have access and regular over night stays on agreement.
I've never wanted to stop access.
He has him Friday - Monday 3 out of 4.
And every other weds tea time overnight back in the morning.
He technically doesn't have him on a Monday his mum does as she did before we split anyway.
Here's the problem. ..
He lives with his mum, which is severely over Crowded. Brother has his own room. Himself and his dad on sofas down stairs (dad is no longer with his mum) and dad's daughter in the other bedroom. So when my son's there he doesn't have his own bed let alone his own room. So is sharing the bed with his nan.
It has come to light that when he's supposed to be having our son, on the days he's demanded, he's been out getting tattoos or out getting drunk. Where is my son? Or he's not turning up to get him letting me know last minute with some petty excuse then finding out he's out with his friends.
People bringing weed to and throw the house. Brother that lives there smokes it. People coming in drunk.
I originally agreed with him and that amount of contact because I've never been one to deny a child to access to there father or vise versa. And I thought hed have his own place by now as he told me he'd only be at his mum's a couple of weeks. It's been over 6 months.
Does my son really need to be there for the Monday when he's there with his nan all weekend Anyway?
Do you think it would be acceptable for me to change the 3 weekends to the 2 so he can then use his other 2 weekends for socialising and doing what he wants.
If so how would you raise it with him?
I personally feel that going there that much isn't good anyway regardless to his dad spending time with him or not, it's not really suitable with the living arrangements.