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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

teenage daughter with OCD

15 replies

Manny70 · 09/09/2017 13:40

My 13 year old daughter has OCD this has just recently got worse , it could be puberty but now it's making her cry as she said it doing her head in but she had to do it to keep us safe, she thinks if she doesn't go through her nightly ritual of touching switches, taps,checking plugs and making sure there's nothing on the floor we will get hurt,I've tried to reassure her that nothing will happen, this only happens at bedtime, I could really use some advice, I am a bit reluctant to take her to the doctors as I feel that she will feel it is a big deal and worry about her rituals even more. I have even tried going through it with her but then she starts all over again as she feels she hasn't done it right. 😯

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Dustbunny1900 · 09/09/2017 13:47

I had (have) OCD and it started at around that age with obsessively checking the stove burners at night.
It was how my anxiety manifested and a way for me to feel in control over things out-of-my-control in my everyday life. It came and went w my anxiety. The doctors have said there's exposure therapy you can do or working on anxiety but there isn't a pill you pop for it yet (where I'm at anyways)

24hoursfliesby · 09/09/2017 13:59

Mine started at that age too. In fact I still have it now especially surrounding my kids. I have to do rituals in their rooms when they are asleep, like close curtains a certain way, tap the light switch, make sure duvets are touching the foot of the bed etc.
CBT helps massively.
They taught me that although i think tapping a light switch will keep them safe, it would be more beneficial to them to have a "well" mother who doesn't do rituals. Reminding myself of this cut a lot of them down.
Could you find a CBT app maybe or online course if you didn't want to go to the gp.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/09/2017 15:07

I don't understand why you aren't taking her to a doctor about this. OCD is a serious condition that requires PROFESSIONAL help. Her mental health is going to continue to decline unless she gets the help she needs. You are not a doctor, you are not a therapist, and you can't help her. Get her to a professional as soon as humanly possible.

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cornishgirl17 · 09/09/2017 20:52

I was similar at that age. If I can remember it probably started around age eight. For me it was things like my toys facing the right way, checking switches were off, windows closed, doors being locked over and over again. I also had huge problems with checking drawers and doors were shut or in the correct position. Also that my curtains were in a correct position.

I am now 25, I still have OCD but not for checking things as I listed above. It's all about cleaning now. But I'd much rather have OCD in cleaning my house than repeatedly checking things like I used to.

I've never had professional help. But I wish I did maybe I could relax more now? So I would perhaps take her to get some help before it gets worse.

Good luck!

DuckOffAutocorrectYouShiv · 09/09/2017 20:58

Get her to the GP for a referral to CAMHS.

KoolKoala07 · 09/09/2017 21:00

Please go to the doctor. The sooner OCD is 'caught' the bettter chance of successful treatment. I've suffered for years and wish I was able to seek help sooner.

Dustbunny1900 · 09/09/2017 21:02

What kinds of treatment do they offer for children these days?? My son has also been displaying these behaviors, but I got a shrug and a "well maybe work in your coping skills with anxiety " when I mentioned it as an adult for myself.

Original poster

Manny70 · 10/09/2017 09:34

I actually work in a doctors surgery and asked the doctor as a favour, she just said its probably her age and read up on the internet, I felt like I was overeacting I have been trying to help her, actually my doctor seems to blame her hormones for everything I ask about.

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mindutopia · 11/09/2017 14:01

It is not 'just her age.' The doctor in your surgery sounds like a moron, to be honest. I would talk with her and express your concern and ask if she would consider coming to see a doctor with you (hopefully not that moronic one) or pursuing a referral for some mental health care. I have OCD and have had it my whole life, though mine is relatively mild compared to most and it only flares up when things get really stressful. But it's an awful thing to have to deal with. Medication, counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy can be really effective, so there's no reason she should have to just live with this. Of course, if she is really not open to getting any help at all, then I don't think you can or should force her. But I think acknowledging that it's real and that you don't want her to feel distressed worrying about all of you can help. You can't rationalise it away (by telling her you'll be safe no matter what). OCD doesn't work like that. It's not rational. She probably knows that, but it's a compulsion and she can't not do it, even if she doesn't want to. But ultimately, it will likely be a relief to talk to someone about it. Often there is a lot more going on than is obvious when OCD flares up, so there is probably something else really stressing her out and it would be good to get it all out in the open and get her some support. Hope that's helpful.

houseinthecorner · 13/09/2017 21:34

I've had OCD Since I was a child. Since I was about 8. No one got me help. I suffered. Now I'm 29 and have OCD and intrusive thoughts because no one got me help. My mum wasn't bothered. Please please please get your daughter help from a doctor

Original poster

Manny70 · 15/09/2017 12:45

Well I finally got my daughter to go to the doctors we are waiting for an appointment at CHAMS so hopefully things will start to improve for her sake.

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ChuffMuffin · 15/09/2017 13:04

That's great to hear! I've had OCD from probably when I was about 7 or 8, it was undiagnosed until I was 28. Getting that diagnosis has changed my life, I'm on medication that has helped massively along with counselling. I'll always have OCD but the good news is it's manageable.

I've only ever had CBT for mine as it's more thought based (some people call it "Pure O" - obsession based & intrusive thoughts, probably why it took so long to get officially diagnosed) rather than ritualistic, but there is a thing called Exposure Therapy for people who do have ritualistic OCD. I do have some rituals, like checking I've locked the door, and the iron's off (over and over if I'm having a bad day ), and the therapy I had for those rituals is really hard at first.. you basically have to do the ritual once and then leave it. It seems really mean, but it works.

Whinesalot · 15/09/2017 13:13

Read

Freeing your child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Tamar E. Chansky.

I read this then chose bits that my 8yr old DD could read herself. We did see CAHMS but TBH we'd more or less sorted it together by using the book before she got her appointments. 10 years later she still seems fine. Understanding why she felt these compulsions and seeing the advice in the book, worked wonders for her. Before that there were quite a few rituals that she had to do.

houseinthecorner · 15/09/2017 13:21

So glad to hear this good luck to your daughter and yourself x

Whinesalot · 15/09/2017 13:29

Thanks house
Is it worth reading the book yourself? Are you receiving any help now? Your story is such a sad one.

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