Conflicted about having a second DC

[WalkTallActFine]

My DS is 2.5 and I am feeling really conflicted about having a second DC. I didn't cope very well with my DS when he was newborn and he did not sleep well until recently. Also I only stopped breastfeeding a couple of months ago so I feel like I am only just getting myself back. I have always wanted two children and I am at the stage where it seems like everyone around me is having a second DC; every time I find out someone is pregnant or has had a baby I feel so jealous (like I did when trying for DS - it took 3 years and I had 2 miscarriages) and I feel like I am being left behind. I am also really socially awkward so didn't make many friends when I was on maternity leave with my DS. I worry that will be the same if I go on maternity leave again. I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be welcome.

I found DC1 difficult, she was not a good sleeper. We went ahead and had DC2 with a 22 month age gap. DC2 was even more difficult, a truly terrible sleeper, lots of food allergies which makes day to day life more difficult, requires more planning to go out etc.
Having a second has strained our relationship and left me feeling lonely, trapped and frustrated. I often say if DC2 had been born first there would definitely only be one!
Apologies if I paint a pretty dire picture of 2, my experience has not been what I envisaged but then whose is?! Someone will be along to share a more positive story soon I'm sure.

First off: having two Dcs on maternity is a completely different ball game to having one. You don't really get much time to sit down as you are either sorting out the baby or the toddler! It's also worth noting that you are less likely to attend baby groups with a large, excited toddler - parks, softplay and crafts become your friend!

Secondly: have a baby when you are ready to have a baby. As mumsnet will attest, you can have any age gap from one year to ten. As an added bonus, if you do hold off that bit longer, DS could be potty-trained before his sibling comes along. The only time limit is on your ovaries as fertility does decrease from your mid-thirties onwards. For now, I would enjoy getting your body back for a bit (well done on breastfeeding for two years), have the odd night out with friends or take up a hobby again. And sleep!

I struggled with dc1. Breastfeeding issues affected bonding and motherhood wasn't at all what I expected. We knew we wanted two but I didn't have an urge for another, it was more for dc1 really...

But dc2 has been so different. I love her to pieces and they play so nicely together most of the time (2.7yr difference). The way I look at it, the baby part is actually a relatively small part of the childhood dependency years (though it can feel endless) and overall I would do it all again. Dc1 on the other hand...