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Original poster

Weekend away with newborn - advice pls!

39 replies

feelingcalledlove · 05/09/2017 07:10

My first baby is due in December and I'd like some advice please...

At what point were you able to travel with your baby? Basically, we've been invited for a weekend away (2 hours away by car) when the baby will probably be 4-6 weeks old. We'll be staying at a friend's house so will have a room with the baby but will have to bring a travel cot/Moses basket with us. This feels like it could be realistic to me (assuming everyone is healthy) but am I being ridiculous?!
Alternative is that we could host 10 people at our house but I feel like that might be worse!

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Original poster

feelingcalledlove · 05/09/2017 07:11

Or obviously the other alternative is that we don't take part at all, but I'd rather try :)

OP posts:

Callamia · 05/09/2017 07:19

It's entirely possible, but you might be tired/not feel massively sociable etc. As long as there's space for you to go to bed early, then I think you'll be fine.

My baby is 6 weeks and I think we could manage a weekend away, but I wouldn't be much fun in the evening because he's still cluster feeding, and I'm pretty tired by then. During the day, easy - baby in a carrier, sleeps all the time.

gamerpigeon · 05/09/2017 07:20

I stayed overnight at my parents' house at 4 weeks, it was fine. If you end up formula feeding you will have a bit more faff, be prepared to travel with the kitchen sink! I took sterilising stuff and ready made formula so I only had to worry about getting bottles clean

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Gribbie · 05/09/2017 07:20

Don't host! That would definitely be worse.

ApplesTheHare · 05/09/2017 07:25

In my experience it would be doable but probably not enjoyable, mainly due to lack of sleep and the fact that you'll still be feeding, changing and napping so frequently at that point. I could have done lots of things when dd was 6 weeks but felt like a zombie a lot of the time. Do the friends you'll be staying with have children and what's their attitude if not? I just ask because the baby will dominate the weekend and if your friends are happy to muck in it will be great, but if not you'll end up feeling like you're slogging away all weekend while everyone else has fun.

ApplesTheHare · 05/09/2017 07:27

P.s. Unless you have unlimited wealth and access to help don't host!!! You could still be struggling to put the baby down and find time to make yourself a sandwich at that point.

Stickaforkinimdone · 05/09/2017 07:46

Possible, do-able, unlikely to be very enjoyable for you, I personally wouldn't recommend

See how you feel once your baby is here would be my advice

Original poster

feelingcalledlove · 05/09/2017 07:51

Thanks everyone! Ok, definitely not going to host :)

My parents live quite near to the friend so I think we may go to my friend's house during the day then stay at my parents' overnight (proud grandparents less likely to be irritated by crying that friends without kids!)

And will definitely see how things go, just wanted to get an idea of whether it was possible :)

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Sandsnake · 05/09/2017 08:33

6 weeks is said to be the height of fussiness for babies, as a lot go through a growth spurt around then. Our DS cried and fed constantly at that age and a weekend away would have bee rubbish for all concerned! That said, you might have the world's most laid back baby and it will be fine. If I were you I definitely wouldn't commit to anything. The grandparent idea is a good one. Good luck with it all!

user1478902502 · 05/09/2017 15:01

We have recently been away for the weekend (bank holiday weekend, crazy busy!) with our 4 week old baby. We had a great time. We stayed in a hotel and took our tutti bambini crib which she sleeps in at home. We also went to stay with my parents at 6 weeks for a few nights, again really good time, lots of eating out and seeing friends. I took a good few weeks to get over the birth but by 4 weeks just wanted to get back to normal as much as possible. I should confess I do have the worlds easiest baby but not to say you won't get one too. What I'm trying to say is I think it's perfectly doable!

Original poster

feelingcalledlove · 05/09/2017 21:30

Thank you both Seems like a real mix depending on what the baby is like! Thank you all for your reassurance/realism (I needed both!)

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cheerylilthing · 05/09/2017 21:36

We stayed in a shepherds hut in the Scottish Borders when DS was 6-7 weeks old (it was my birthday gift from DP & we'd expected DS to be early rather than late!)

The car journey wasn't ideal as we were travelling from Leeds & with all the stops we needed it took ages but when we were in Scotland it was fine. We had a day in Edinburgh & a day hopping along the coast before heading home so we got plenty of fresh air.

Make sure you try & keep things as familiar as possible in terms of bedding/clothes for LO, be aware of how vulnerable you might feel at times while feeding/in general & try not to take on too much in advance so you can adapt to your energy levels while you're there & you should be fine.

rubberducker · 05/09/2017 21:50

We did a weekend away in a country hotel when DS3 was 6 weeks old - was with all of Dh's extended family for FIL's 70th so we had to go. We went walking etc in the day (baby in sling) and out for meals in the evening with him in his pram and it was fine. However, DS3 was an easy baby and as a third time breast feeder I was relaxed about feeding him when and wherever necessary. I also went to bed earlier than everyone else to catch up on some sleep.

It is totally doable - but how easy it is will depend on what your baby is like which can't be predicted. But if you're talking about staying with parents and close friends then surely they will appreciate that you may not be on top form, may need to go to bed early and that the baby's needs will come first. I'd go for it.

Absolutely do not host!!!

Original poster

feelingcalledlove · 06/09/2017 13:12

Haha, I don't think I'm ever going to host anything ever again!

Ok cool, sounds like it might be doable as long as we can be flexible. It is family and close friends so they should be understanding.

It's really useful to hear about everyone's experiences :)

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FurryGiraffe · 06/09/2017 13:24

Do not host, whatever you do.

If you're BF it's likely that at 6 weeks you're going to be spending a fair portion of the day (and most of the evening) with a baby attached to your nipple, so prepare for that. Don't plan to spend the evening with people you're not happy to have in the room while you're BF (absolutely nothing worse than being stuck on your own with a baby while you can hear other people downstairs/outside being sociable and having fun!) Also, make sure everyone is realistic about daytime activities. Babies are very portable at that age but they need frequent feeding, not always on a predictable schedule (this is often a surprise to the baby uninitiated).

And if you're spending the weekend with family make sure you schedule in time for you to hand the baby over to someone else and take some nice long daytime naps!

waterrat · 06/09/2017 14:04

It depends on what sort of baby you have - at six weeks I would have found that stressful and difficult with my first because he cried a lot in the evenings - babies famously are very fussy in the evening in the first couple of months - I breastfed for hours and was definitely not in the mood for company . Also - you will be exhausted - I think it's very unlikely you will want to spend the whole day with friends - staying with your parents and popping over to the event seems more sensible.

It's hard to imagine before it happens but the lack of sleep plus your complete devotion to your new baby will make it difficult to focus on friends for more than a couple of hours !

waterrat · 06/09/2017 14:05

and yes - re. daytime activities - I was feeding every 2 hours sometimes more and had to sit down to feed - so I found it very stressful being out of the house for long.

I don't mea any of this to sound negative as I was perfecly happy with my baby! just that things are more challenging logistically if you leave your own home.

hosting is an insane idea .

TeddyIsaHe · 06/09/2017 14:17

I loved the early days with dd, but I don't think I could have done a weekend away until she was 3/4 months. She cluster fed in the evenings, so I had my boobs out for 4-5 hours at a time. Plus v frequent feeding during the day, sometimes a 30 minute break between feeds.
However, my friend took her son to a weekend festival at 6 weeks (!) as he was so easy and relaxed. So I think it depends entirely on what your baby is like. By 6 weeks you'll have a good feel for how you'll both do, so perhaps don't make solid plans till then if that's possible?

Definitely do not host!!!!!

Changerofname987654321 · 06/09/2017 14:23

At that age you would have to stop every 30 minutes.

It entirely depends on your birth and your baby. at 6 weeks I could not have done this. My day looked like this 7.30-10 feed baby. 10 to 10.15 hobble to shower and back 10.15 to 12.15 feed baby while on wearing knickers and dressing gown (no time to get dressed). Attempt to get some lunch, get dressed. And on it went.

JuniUmiZoomi · 06/09/2017 14:28

My DD was quite content during the day but screamed from 6pm until about midnight at this stage. At one point I called my mum at 11pm and she came round because I was crying thinking I'd hurt her. Extreme, perhaps (& I was very anxious) but the idea of being outside my own home during those nights...that would've finished me off. I hope your baby is much calmer than mine!

jimijack · 06/09/2017 14:34

Personally I was a walking corpse at that time, cluster feeding day and night 2 hourly, mountains of washing, utter utter bone drenching exhaustion that never in my life had I felt.
Anxiety about bugs/smokers/noise//routine coupled with the severe sleep deprivation meant I was unable to socialize even with family.
Difficulty finding time or energy to have a shower or slice of toast.

But my baby arrived 3 weeks early, very small birth weight feeding allot to catch up.
Everyone is different though. Depends on how you feel when baby arrives.

2014newme · 06/09/2017 14:36

I was still in hospital at 4 weeks. At 6 weeks I would no waY have gone away for a weekend. Can you let them know when the time comes if it's staying with a friend?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 06/09/2017 14:37

I think being able to go to your parents' for the evenings is a good idea - then you can duck out when you're tired. I would have been fine with hanging out with friends during the day at 6 wks, but by the evening I just needed to go to sleep.

It sounds like it's a friend's house? So you're not having to pay for accomodation and it will be OK if you need to cancel? DS was 2 weeks late and I had an emergency C-section and being in the car for any distance was quite uncomfortable up until 6 weeks, so there's a tiny chance the journey itself may put you off when the time comes.

2014newme · 06/09/2017 14:38

Yes babies can't sit in car seats at that General for very long so expect a two hour journey to take a lot longer

welshweasel · 06/09/2017 14:44

As the replies show, you've no way of knowing until baby arrives! DS was a pretty laid back baby and I recovered quickly from my c section. We went away to visit my ILs at 6 weeks (3 hour drive) and to a hotel for the weekend for our anniversary at 8 weeks. Other than being a bit tired due to night feeds it was fine. All DS did at that age was feed and sleep. I liked going away for the weekend at that stage as it meant we didn't have to cook and had other people to hold the baby for a while. We used a sleepyhead so just took that with us for him to sleep in.

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