Legal route for mum to have my son?

[Doesanyonereallycare]

Hi All,

Been here before but not in a while.

Been given notice on flat so landlords son can move back in.

Son is 5 months old, will be going to live with my mum until I can sort something for us. I cannot live with my mum also, due to space. The house is far far too small.

I don't expect it to be long term at all, no longer than 6 months.

I will go back to work full time, all benefits for my son will go to my mum & I will live in a shared house.

As it's not long term & it's my mum, I shouldn't have to get any kind of legal agreement?

As this is a voluntary arrangement of kinship care, you shouldn't need any formal legal agreement.

However, is this really what you want and in your sons best interests? It really isn't good for young children to have attachment figures parachuting in and out of their lives, it's unsettling and can have big consequences down the line.

Is it just the housing issue or are you struggling to cope in other ways? What involvement do you have with social services?

This is the best thing for my son.

He has an amazing bond with my mother, sees her most days.

I've absolutely no involvement with SS as it's not needed.

I've no options in terms of housing bar a room in a shared house which I cannot have my son in.

It sounds like this is something you have already decided to do. I'm not entirely sure what you want to gain by posting but if it's straighforward legal information you need, you might be best to post on Legal Matters.

You might find people have more questions than answers here. Does anyone else have parental responsibility for DS? Is his dad in the picture? Do you have a job? What makes you think you have no other housing options? What do you think will change in 6 months? You may think it's best in the short-term but it may not be a good long-term solution, for you or DS.

To see if anyone else has done this and if they have had to go down a legal route.

If he's with my mum I can go back to work full time, I will have a better chance at getting a property through a letting agents.

I have asked the council for help but have been told that because I haven't lived here 3 years they don't have a duty of care.

I have spoken to my HV but she admitted there's not a huge deal in terms of help.

The father is not involved bar paying CSA each month.

I am the only person with PR.

In terms of living on the streets or my son living with my mum, long term it'll be better with my mum, I can't imagine we'd both survive living outdoors in the cold.

How small is your mum's place? Surely she would prefer you to squeeze in with her rather than be separated from your son?

It won't fit all my stuff even after having binned a lot. The bedroom is too small to house both me & my son.

It's not mum mums decision not to have me, it's mine.

If I did live with her, I wouldn't be able to go back to work otherwise it'll affect her money. I also couldn't whilst on benefits, afford to give her money for rent.

Talk to shelter.

I would be in to put him to bed every evening, I'd be there every weekend & have time off work to spend with him.

This would give him a better start. I'd be able to pay my debts off which are currently crippling me. I'd also be able to afford to give my mum money for him each month even though she'd get more than enough to cover his costs

The only thing you may need to consider is if there is an emergency would you're mum be allowed to give consent for medical treatment if you are not present. It may be worth writing a letter giving your consent for her to make medical decisions in the event of an emergency not sure if it would have to be legally witnessed or anything to stand up though.

When my son was born and registered to the doctors, I included my mother on his notes to say that she has consent to make decisions on his medical care.