Screaming, crying, throwing himself on the floor - 3yo DS won't leave preschool!

[wowl]

Will move to chat for traffic if necessary but thought I'd try here first!

DS is 3 in September and has recently started settling in sessions at a private nursery's preschool room. He absolutely loves it there - skips in in the morning, over the moon to be there, says goodbye to me without a backward glance!

At home time however, it's a different story. I think part of it is hunger and tiredness (he's only recently dropped his nap and is very fussy so refuses most of the food there). But he doesn't want to leave the toys behind (sometimes it's a truck he won't leave, sometimes a dinosaur, but there's always something he refuses to put down). I've tried all sorts of persuading and cajoling, giving him a few minutes warning to get used to the idea that we're going home etc, but it always ends with him having a HUGE tantrum and me dragging him home crying

He never normally tantrums at all. And once he's home he calms down quickly and is fine. But I feel like they must think he hates being at home and that I'm a horrible parent or something!

Has anyone else's DC been like this?? It's obviously preferable to being like that going in, and I'm so so glad he loves it there so much, but the tantrums are taking their toll already and I'm dreading pick ups! Any help would be appreciated!

I should add it's only round the corner from our house and I'm having to actually lock us in so he doesn't open the door and run back there

Oh dear. I'm sure they'll have seen it all before! Worth speaking to them about it though, so you and the staff can come up with a plan. Maybe they could start giving him warnings about leaving before you arrive for example? So it's not a sudden wrench away from whatever thing he's got?

They're clearly doing something right! 😊 Could you meet him with a clue (physical or otherwise) to a toy or activity you might have ready for him to play with at home; something to pique his interest. Maybe that way he is excited for you to arrive and knows that there is something interesting to explore at home. Do you think he struggles between the stimulation he gets there versus a more laid back setting at home? Not saying your home is dull but preschool will have lots of children, colours, sounds, novel toys, etc. Maybe it is the transition between the two separate environments that he struggles with.

I could bring a favoured toy from home and a Snack to persuade him to swap? That would hopefully make leaving less painful though it's more that he wants to stay full stop!

Preschool have been great, a staff member yesterday made all the children gather round and wave goodbye which made getting him out of the building ok but then he had a meltdown in the street instead. Even though all the kids had climbed on the climbing frame to look over the fence and wave goodbye which was adorable

It's definitely quieter at home as he's an only! He's normally perfectly happy playing alone but definitely enjoys having playmates at preschool. Typically he normally refuses to paint etc at home but he's more than happy to do it there

Maybe draw a little part of it on a piece of paper and hide the actual toy (in case he doesn't desire it as much as the preschool toy). And let him know that if he walks out of nursery nicely he will get the toy and if he guesses what it is before a certain milestone (e.g. Lamppost or home), he gets an extra surprise. Hopefully then your walk home will be easier. You could maybe give him clues if he's struggling to guess.

3 year olds are strange creatures. He'll probably be crying at being dropped off next week 😄 It's not you, it's them.