Kids dislike going to their dads

[lifesteeth]

My sons go to their dads every fortnight and stay from about 2pm saturday until 4pm sunday.

My youngest son (6) used to idolise his dad, as far as he was concerned his dad was the best thing ever to grace the earth...but just lately he's started to say he dislikes going to his dads house as it's too boring. My eldest son (8) is saying the same thing.

Their dad lives with his girlfriend and he 2 children (10 and 14) and my boys say that their dad never allows them to do anything, they can't use the playstation as the gf's kids are always on it and their dad never takes them anywhere and expects them to just sit quietly and watch TV.

They've been saying this now for the past 6 weeks or so but today my youngest came home saying he hates his dad and is not going anymore, my eldest said he really dislikes going now and doesnt want to ever go back.

In the next breath however they're telling me he took them to park and played football and bought them 2 easter eggs each!

I don't get it, their dad has never been a 'hands on' dad and sometimes seems as though he only bothers with the kids because he "has to" and I do understand that sitting in front of the tv all weekend would be boring but now even when he takes them to the park they're still saying they don't want to go anymore...??

Anyone got any experience of this or advice?

bump

This happened to me when I was young. I don't think you should make them go, it has to be their decision, chances are in a while they will come around and want to start going again of their own accord.

Well, I remember being bored with my Dad too, and that was even when he took us places. But it didn't stop me wanting to see him.

I know my SS is bored when he comes here, he told his mum he was (didn't bother telling DP), but tbh, what does he expect? When he's here we just go about our daily life, going to the supermarket, taking DD to the park, going around town, or even just sitting around at home etc. We can't afford to do treats every weekend and the point is spending time with his father, not going to the latest film/adventure park/whatever all the time. I suspect part of the problem may be that we don't have a playstation or nintendo thing and that's pretty much what he's used to doing all day. I did suggest he bring a book for those moments we're busy and that was met with a shocked expression.

What do your DSs normally do at your house? Could it be they're not really bored but there's another underlying problem they don't want to talk about? Maybe they're being bullied by the other children? What does your ex say? It does seem strange (unless they're totally spoilt which I'm sure is not the case) that they're not wanting to stay with their dad simply because they're bored. Is it just the staying with him or don't they even want to see him?