AIBU

[anna345]

Hi ladies just looking for a sense check on something.

My MIL came to visit yesterday to meet our new baby and see our toddler. By way of background he has never really bonded with our toddler. We see them once a month but since he was a baby he has cried when passed to her and is reluctant to spend time with her. My MIL is quite an over bearing anxious woman and all her grandchildren seem to struggle.

The last few times we've seen her she has brought a box with her with educational activities like animal stencils but she always packs them up and takes them with her. She has a toy box at her house for when we go there which I understand as it's nice for there to be some new toys to keep him entertained.

However yesterday my toddler was really upset when she left as she thought the stencils were a present for him and didn't understand why he couldn't keep them.

I find this behaviour a bit strange as when my parents visit they bring toys and activities but leave them for him to have and enjoy.

Does anyone have any advice or perspective on this ? Is this weird or am I just overreacting ?

She sounds like a visiting health visitor!! Quick check on the dc with a box of toys then vanishes again!!
What does your dh make of her odd visits?

I understand how annoying this can be. I have a son (6) who actually has autism. He sees his biological father for maybe 2-3 hours a week. His dad has bought him expensive presents over the years but I'm unsure why as he's never there to play with them and our son isn't allowed to bring them over here (awkward awkward people) When he does have him he often takes him out and about so he's not at his fathers home to play with them. So I'm really not sure why he buys him so many gifts?

I also understand about the mother in laws. Mine is a little awkward

Surely if she seen that your son was upset she would of let him keep them?

Maybe she plays with them with the other grand children too? And that's why she takes them home again. I think it's good for children to learn that they can't always have what they want. And would discourage the giving of something that's not really meant for them just cos they get upset and cry if it was another child / his cousins you wouldn't expect them to leave their things that they had brought to play with just because he was upset they were bringing them home again. I don't let my son take toys from granny's house (and she has loads) even if she says he can, as they are granny's and are for all the cousins to play with.