Need some strategies for DD (on holiday)

[Yippeedoodaa]

Arrived on holiday yesterday, camping but in a mobile home.

DD1 (almost 6) has been pretty much insufferable since we arrived. We know it's excitement and normally she is a mostly very lovely and pretty well behaved child who it's fun to be around but frequently when we go away / out for a trip her behaviour becomes quite difficult.

She's not naughty just reallly whiney but also tries to control us and what's happening on the trip all of the time. For example today she has talked about going swimming (which we will do later and did yesterday eve) all morning, she has reminded me several times that we 'won't be going swimming at the end of the day, it will need to be before that mummy' (because that's what she wants to do). This is Just one example but this covers all acitivies (wants to know precise timings for everything and then reminding of them and wants to know how long till then blah blah) Our other DC is here (almost 3) and we have had lots of other nice things to do today (go to beach, bike ride, breakfast, ice cream etc) but she has constantly just talked about going on to the next thing / needing to get going etc etc rather than remotely enjoying the thing we are doing.

We have stayed calm (although it's highly annoying) but I just wondered how people go about dealing with this.... she is actually spoiling it a little as is voicing her thoughts on wanting to do something different roughly every 10 seconds

She is a high energy almost 6yr old who loves organised fun (not a chilled out child) and I wonder if for the rest of our life we just need to go to places with a kids club but feel a bit sad that that's the case (although she would probably be very happy with that!)

I can totally see I was probably the same as a child (although according to my mother I was a lot more chilled but I know my brother wasn't) I don't think it's abnormal in any way I just would like to know how people tackle it without going totally mad...!

Could you do a visual timetable of the day so that she knows the order of things? Might reduce the asking all if the time.

Thanks Della, actually yes I think this might appeal to her, I'll sit her down and do it in the morning and put it in her pocket to be referred to as and when she asks...!

Tell her to stop whining or she will be taken back to the hotel and put to bed.

Don't let a 6 year old rule you.

I would give a first warning 'if you mention it again, we might not do it'
Then, if she mentions it again 'last warning- if you ask/mention again, we will not do it'
Then if it happens again, cancel the activity.
Harsh but she'll get the message very quickly!

And I'd second the idea of a little timetable she can refer to.

The controlling behaviour is often a sign of anxiety - she's trying to gain control because this whole situation is unfamiliar and she feels out of control.
A visual timetable may well help calm her. Plenty of warning about what's happening next and later. Warning about when things are ending and what you will be doing next. Some downtime so it's not so constant that she gets overwhelmed.

It's anxiety because everything's a bit different, which is why she is trying to get back a bit of control over what's going on, and why she keeps asking what's happening next and when.
I think a visual timetable is a great idea, plus I would acknowledge that everything is different and that can make you feel a bit worried.
I would also be explicit about holiday behaviour - explain about relaxing and just chilling out, put it as an activity on your timetable. It's possible that she doesn't realise you're relaxing and thinks you're just waiting around for the next activity.

Cross post with Voice0fReason !

Harsh threats and punishments will make the whole family suffer and cause more conflict. She's not trying to rule you, she's trying to make herself feel safe.

Spot on Elisheva

As others have said it's anxiety and a need to be in control as everything is different to normal. When dd was little she would need a visual timetable of what we were doing that do - couldn't change it as it would result in a meltdown. Using now and next and lots of reassurance.

Such interesting responses! I don't think it's anxiety in this case, more impatience!! Not a very anxious child however definitely has helped me explaining and writing down the plan for the day. Also the tip about scheduling in relaxing is really useful, haven't done that yet but will do as you're right I don't think she realises some of us like to 'relax'. We found a kids club which has been great, been there a couple of times and yesterday we spent the whole day out (no swimming pool!) and although there was whining...I reminded her it wasn't on the plan which did ease it. It has got easier as the week has progressed! We have another holiday planned later in the year and I am going to do a similar plan for her. There's zero kids 'stuff' there so I plan to take a lot of activities and set her projects etc. Basically she's just a child that likes to be non stop on the go!

I use to tell ds I didn't answer questions the same way everytime - so if he got a yes then not to risk it becoming a no next time he asked

It took far more times than I envisaged a while but eventually he got that if I've said "yes after X" then accept it gracefully.

The key with children who need precise information though is to always provide it in the original answer so their continual questions aren't about getting precise information.