Late PND? Help and advice needed please.

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Hi,

Posted elsewhere but got no reply, so trying here for some help.

I'm after a little advice. I think I may be suffering from PND. My DS is now 16 months and after a pretty traumatic birth experience, I don't think I'm over it. I was initially offered counselling at the hospital but declined it thinking I was ok.

I am so miserable and down majority of the time, people are avoiding me because of my mood and to be honest, I don't want to talk to anyone either. I feel as if I don't care about anything anymore and can't see any happiness in the future.

I care a great deal about my DS, I try my very hardest but I think I may be a better parent if I admitted to those closest to me how I feel.

What do I need to do? Do I make an appointment with my GP and hope they understand me? What will happen then?

Any advice on what to do is greatly appreciated, as well as any previous experiences (if you're happy to share). Thanks.

Firstly, it's a really good positive thing that you're wanting help, that's an amazing first step. From what you describe, and I'm not an expert, you could have post traumatic stress disorder caused by your traumatic birth. I had a traumatic birth with my first and when I was pregnant with my second I mentioned it to my midwife and she said it wasn't too late to have a debrief with the hospital to talk through what happened and why which can sometimes act as a form of counselling iyswim. Absolutely make an appointment to see your GP, they will have seen this many times and will want to set you on the right path to getting better. It's a terrible feeling and if you're anything like me I kept replaying it in my mind thus giving it even more power, never ending cycle that filtered in to every day life, I mostly blamed myself even though there was nothing I could have done. I really hope you feel better soon, I still remember what happened but my life now is full of happiness, don't be afraid you're not alone!

Thanks so much for replying.

I think admitting I need help was the hardest bit. Now it's making that appointment. I'll do it this week. Thank you very much.

I've very recently been in your shoes and my twins are almost 3 years old. I found that I had gradually become more and more miserable and withdrawn from life and had completely stopped paying any attention to myself (I'd go days without even brushing my hair). I was also getting very snappy with the girls and feeling intense rage over the slightest of things. They are at an age where they really push the boundaries and I'm trying to juggle home life and working full time and am just exhausted. I finally had a bit of a breakdown to my husband and uncontrollably sobbed my heart out to him and made an appointment with my gp the very next day.

She was fantastic and diagnosed depression immediatly and said that it was probably, at least partly, post natal that never got dealt with at the time and has just snowballed. I have been given a mild dose of anti depressants and had a counselling session with a psychiatric nurse and also various helplines that I can call anytime I need to talk things through.

I was also signed off work for a week and used that time to tackle a few things in my life that I was able to do something about whilst the girls were at nursery - selling stuff that I'd been meaning to get around to, thus easing money worries for their 3rd birthday and Christmas), sorting clutter areas in the house that had been bugging me for months/years and going for a long walk every morning

It's been about 3 weeks now and I feel so much better. It was the best thing I did for myself. Life is still as hectic as it was before but my mood is elevated and I'm just able to remain calm when the girls really kick off. I actually WANT to do things now

I hope you get treated as well as I was and given the support you need. It's so hard admitting (to yourself, and others) that you need professional help and I went through such awful feelings of failure and defeat. I have also been very open about it with work, family and close friends and it turns out that I was the last person to realise I needed proper help!

Well done and good luck x

Thanks for all the advice. I went to see my GP this morning who was lovely. She's referred me to the mental health nurse in a couple of weeks time and given me a load of phone numbers and websites for the meantime.

It's such a relief to finally get it out in the open. Hopefully this is the start of my recovery.

I was assessed my a member of the perinatal mental health team as potentially having PND when my DD was about 3 months old. They also toyed with a diagnosis of PTSD. Then I saw an amazing clinical psychologist who only worked with pregnant and post pastrum women. I had had a traumatic birth but also much more traumatic poor after care. We did a lot of work around my experience and my issues with breast feeding and suppprted to prepare a birth reflections session. My sessions for birth reflections was difficult as I could have also chosen formal complaint against multi members of staff but I was only concerned with improving things for others.

A long story short, the process at times was difficult but very positive. I would not recommend a birth reflections sessions without another support which goes with it.