Do I expect too much of my 4yo?

[JennyLane]

Our eldest child is four years old. We also have a two year old and six month old.
He is a beautifully behaved (most of the time) polite and kind little boy. Wonderfully inquisitive and curious. I ask him to help me around the house and with his siblings and as a reward he is given pocket money. He fetches nappies and wipes when I ask, lays the table, sings to the baby when she's getting cranky and I'm cooking dinner etc.
He is rewarded for his help during the day too. While his siblings nap (if) he is allowed iPad time or we play games after he's tidied the toys away. He often gets a sweet or something for being my helper.

The problem is, knowing how well he can behave I find myself ever so frustrated with him when he doesn't. If he has a strop or whines I find myself getting impatient with him. I'm well aware I am blessed to have such a helpful and lovely child and wonder whether I ask too much of him and when he cracks and expresses himself through whining I'm failing him.

Please be kind. I'm trying my best. It's very difficult with three kids this age and I'm not getting enough sleep.

He sounds wonderful so you've done a good job! But yes he will express himself just like we do as adults! Pick your battles.

They all strop and whine - actually we all so - especially when tired or hungry. Little kids love to help out. They get less helpful and more whigy as they get older though!

You actually sound like you're completely in control to me! What you've described is incredible and I'm a little bit in awe of you! If he's occasionally whining (I whine and I'm 41!) you've totally got this! My dd1 is 4 and she whines a lot, dd2 is 18 months and I'm shattered, how on earth you're coping so well with 3 is mind boggling to me. So basically I have no advice, you don't need any imo, of course you're both going to be tired and we all have our moments where we think we could have done things better but honestly I think you're amazing. Sorry to sound all gushing but it's true.

All 4 year olds strop and whine sometimes, completely normal. Wait till he starts school, don't be surprised if his behaviour gets dramatically worse in the beginning (the tiredness usually does it).

Thank you everyone for your advice kind words and support. Especially @Phoenix76 you made me want to cry.
I am thoroughly expecting him to melt down more next week when he starts school. He was only four in August so is going to be one of the youngest. I won't be expecting him to help much at all next month.

The meltdown usually doesn't come in week one - it's 2 or 3 after the novelty wears off.

My nearly 6 year old can be incredibly helpful, to the point of tidying the whole house (well, any stray objects - it's usually tidy except for his toys!), making everyone's beds, putting away plates that have been left out to dry, never mind without being asked.

However sometimes I ask him to take his plate out to the kitchen, or tell him to get his own glass of water (both things he usually does) and he gets so stroppy! It's totally normal I think.

Also, sometimes the prize isn't worth the effort. I try to bribe my DC sometimes to do something, with the promise of a biscuit. They politely say no they don't want a biscuit, so they don't so the chore...