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Parenting

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Original poster

Bolting toddler :(

21 replies

Chattycat78 · 24/08/2017 14:41

Just that. My 2.5 year old scared the crap out of me today. I was at an outdoor play centre thing and he was sat on the bench next to me. I was holding the baby. I was distracted for what must have been ten seconds by a conversation with someone wanting to take the toys we had brought with us, and when I looked again he had gone.

Luckily he had only gone inside the cafe as he knew some family members were in there, but I had about 20 seconds of pure terror when I had no clue where he was.

Anyone else ever experience this? - and am I useless? It's so difficult watching their every move especially with a baby stuck to your side too

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TheInimitableMrsFanshawe · 24/08/2017 14:46

Reins. For your peace of mind if nothing else. Such a difficult stage when you have a tiny one to look after as well as a toddler.

Original poster

Chattycat78 · 24/08/2017 14:51

Yes- he was running around with some older kids though in the play area so it was a situation where reins wouldn't have really worked. It's so difficult trying to let them have freedom but avoiding them bolting!

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Thebfg75 · 24/08/2017 16:11

Yes! Yesterday in a busy water park style pool. Frightened the life out of me because I thought he'd drown before I could find him. Horrible isn't it?

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EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 24/08/2017 16:14

Reins are your friend. I still carry them to threaten DS2 (6) when he bolts.

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 24/08/2017 16:15

I used to keep them on but tuck them into the back for quick grabbing.

Mellington · 24/08/2017 16:18

Reins, extra arms and eyes in the back of your head. Always assume that they will run into danger. DS is 3 and a confirmed bolter and very independent, I have to make sure friends and family are prewarned to expect him to run off.

We have a harness and an extra long lead, I console myself that the dog was just as silly when he was little and is now great off lead!

Original poster

Chattycat78 · 24/08/2017 16:30

Yeah- I wish I could grow the extra arms and eyes. Would be very useful! The problem with the reins is- what do u do if you're somewhere that doesn't lend itself to reins? E.g.- I was in an outdoor play centre but it was open plan so he could get away. Should I have put the reins on him somewhere like that so he couldn't run around? Do t forget that I'm also holding a baby at the same time....

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Original poster

Chattycat78 · 24/08/2017 16:31

Don't

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PotteringAlong · 24/08/2017 17:18

What do you do? If you can't trust him not run you don't take him. If you're in a park etc you have the baby in the sling and you watch him constantly. It's the only way it works.

lorisparkle · 24/08/2017 17:28

I had to only go places where I felt safe if on my own as ds1 was a nightmare. There were parks near us with gates that I used but would never go to the large open parks without an extra adult. I became quite the local expert in parks!!!! He did improve eventually!

FemaleDilbert · 24/08/2017 17:30

My ds 3 is a bolter too. I've become very well acquainted with enclosed parks and places with only a single entry/exit that I can watch!

Original poster

Chattycat78 · 24/08/2017 17:32

Baby is a bit big for sling now- 14 months- I guess not really a baby now.

And yes - you're right. Looks like we can only go to places where he's caged in for a while when I'm on my own with them at least. Today was a bit different though as we had family with us - I wouldn't have gone otherwise. But they left me with the 2 of them to sort out food, at which point he bolted when I was holding the baby and saw that someone was trying to take our toys away- u was trying to stop them- turned around and he'd gone!

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Original poster

Chattycat78 · 24/08/2017 17:32

"I was trying to stop them"

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ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 24/08/2017 17:35

My dd (now 13) was a terrible bolter! She ran from everywhere! At soft play, while other parents were chatting and drinking coffee, I was doing shuttle runs to the emergency exits to bring her back! In one memorable occasion she escaped from play area/ coffee shop into reptile house. Racing around a reptile house amongst a group of school kids trying to catch dd with Dd2 attached to my boob is a memory that haunts me still!!
We had a wrist strap for in town, and the threat of gruffalos in the park.
She is still very independent!

Ttbb · 24/08/2017 18:37

I lost sight of mine in John Lewis for about five seconds once. Fortunately he reappeared and got a very long lecture for his trouble.

Chloris33 · 24/08/2017 19:53

Sympathy! Mine does this too, and the worst time was in a busy hospital car park when I was heavily pregnant and wasn't as quick at chasing him as usual. I cried all the way home in the car, it had been so scary. I do quite forceful handholding with him if we're walking, but appreciate that if you're just hanging out somewhere with two little ones there is no easy solution. We're about to have a baby & I guess there are just going to be places we can't go and hang out if they are not safely enclosed and I can't risk him bolting...

Bubbinsmakesthree · 24/08/2017 20:25

I had a very scary few minutes in a play park the other day when my 3yo disappeared from sight - it's horrible.

I treat him like a dog really - repeat basic commands everywhere he might be tempted to bolt - Stop! Wait! Heel! (OK not the last one, not that much like a dog). Loads of praise every time he complies. 100% enforcement of holding hands anywhere with traffic. Immediately picked up and marched out of anywhere when he bolts (even when that means baby under one arm and toddler under the other). Always reminding him of expected behaviour - he's particularly bad in shops so we have a chat before we go into a shop and loads of praise and a treat if he does well, shopping abandoned and walk out if he doesn't. It is still a work in progress but he is improving.

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 24/08/2017 21:38

As I said Chatty, I used to tuck the reins into the back so they couldn't trip over them, but I could still grab them easily.

ODog · 28/08/2017 06:27

My 15mo is still regularly daily in a sling when we are out and about. Definitely not too big - you just need to right sling.

It's hard to have eyes in the back of your head. He doesn't sound like too much of a bolter if he just wandered inside to find people he knew that were in there. He just wandered off somewhere safe without you seeing.

Obviously be vigilent but know that most of the time unless there is a real issue with random bolting into the middle of roads etc. Kids will be pretty safe and the worst probably won't happen. Otherwise you are going to be crippled with fear and anxiety and not go anywhere.

juliasalinger · 28/08/2017 06:38

Little Life backpack with the reins is fantastic. He could wear it all the time if you make sure it's on properly and not got much in it and it has a little bit at the top that you can tuck reins in when not in use, plus a kind of grab strap at top. When you sat down to deal with baby, you could just loop the reins over your wrist. They do grow out of it. Eventually.

newmumwithquestions · 28/08/2017 06:56

What did you do when he bolted? If DD does anything like that she'd be straight home.
Generally she's pretty good now, but we've cut short trips when she's bolted. Only had to do it twice that I can remember, but it seems to have instilled in her that it's not a good thing to do.

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