Childcare changes when on mat leave

[Eskimo16]

When you went on mat leave with your second child, did you pull first child out of daycare? Or reduce hours?

Just trying to get an idea for what people do and what might be the way to go, I have previously been a bit ambitious with my plans for when baby got here and that was with only one child!

We went from 5 days to 4 with our 3yo, but he had almost a month off other than odd days with paternity, xmas and grandparents house etc.

I have to say his day off was exhausting! no chance of a quick nap on the sofa while the baby sleeps

My 2 yo old just in for 6 hours a week in term time across 2 mornings. By the time ive got her and all her stuff ready and walked there and back I'm not sure it's totally worth it.... but since the school holidays I think it is good to have a short break!! And time alone with baby. Plus it keeps the older one in with their peers and my dd1 seems to enjoy it. Plus I'm paying for it out of saved up childcare vouchers

Everyone I know with two under school age has the eldest in some form of childcare at least part-time. Admittedly some of those people I know from the nursery drop off so that's not totally representative

For unconnected reasons I had to take my eldest (2.5y) out of his childcare at the time I went on ML and I did consider keeping him at home (not least because I was worried about him settling somewhere new) but it was a great decision for both of us for him to start at nursery - he gets all the social / developmental benefits of being there (he loves it and is making great friends) and I get a bit of a break which is great for bonding with the baby (and for my sanity!). He's just in 3 half days a week at the moment, which is less than most people in my experience. He'll be going up to 5 half days in September. Most people I know seem to have anything from 2-5 days in childcare.

Unless you've got a strong support network for you and social network for your DC I would definitely recommend it. I strongly suspect if my older DS wasn't in nursery he'd be spending those hours in front of CBeebies, which can't be preferable!

I dropped from 3 full days to 3 half days. Definitely worth it, DS gets a break and company/fun and baby can actually have a decent nap without getting woken constantly by the noise, food/water/toilet requests. Plus it's hard work with two!

We did 3 days at nursery for DC1. Both DH and I got childcare vouchers from works. The vouchers covered all 3 days as she also had 15 funded hours too. (Will be 30 hours now for you I believe). If you have childcare vouchers they can't deduct it from your maternity pay so it is effectively extra mkneyz

Yes, totally. We've cut our daugter's childminder time in half (2 days to 1, with a later drop off to allow for newborn timing) as I'll be earning less, but would love to have kept her as she was.
Better for everyone involved I think. Mostly, she still gets time totally dedicated to her play and her friends, and less change to her routine.

DD1 was in 5 days until 4pm when I was working and now on ML I collect her at 2:30 pm which is the earliest pick up time if they stay for lunch and sleep. I figured I'd rather gave her eating and napping there rather than having to run straight back to pick her up at 12 to eat at home or trying to get her to nap at home with a baby.

We don't have any other help with childcare as we live abroad with no relatives or close friends so it's a lifesaver.

The nursery is currently closed for 3 weeks over the summer and it's exhausting with both at home! The drudgery of preparing and cleaning up 4 meals/snacks a day is also never ending!!!!!

Whilst she's at nursery I manage to get most of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, errands etc out of the way so I can concentrate on her when I pick her up.

We stuck to the usual routine (4 days). It's a bitch to have to get up and out but it has been a 'solid' in dd1's new confusing world. Sure I feel a bit guilty sometimes but the day off has been way the hardest. No catch-up naps, having to pay attention to how much attention you've paid each of them, constant epic mess. So glad of it. Just pick up dd1 a bit earlier than usual and enjoy dinner together whether daddy's home in time or not.

I kept her in nursery 2 1/2 days a week as that was minimum for me to claim the 15 hours. Then I pulled her out during the summer holidays and she started school in the September.

I would keep them in childcare at least part time to keep them in routine and give you and baby some time together.

My situation is similar to waddles. My 3 year old has stayed at 4 days a week at nursery but I have picked him up earlier and had a longer evening with him. This has been for about 8 months (due back at work soon) and he is coming up to 4 years old. He has the odd tearful going to nursery but generally seems to really enjoy it. He picked up a little that I was at home with baby but did not make a huge fuss about it.

I admit I have felt guilty often and wondered what the nursery thought of me. However no one has ever said anything to me. Myself and husband have no friends or family close by and nursery is all the help we have. I have no mum friends at all and do it attend any groups.

I'm an older mother too and it has been a life saver being able to catch up on sleep when baby naps. I've also been able to enjoy my time with baby more and do things I would not be doing whilst at work or if my 3 year old was with me. Such as long walks or going to multiple shops to catch up on food and children's clothes shopping. Or the odd relaxing cafe lunch while baby is napping.

My husband works quite late and I have often struggled with the one day where I have both kids. My oldest is not the most mature 3 year old and can be all over baby physically and shouting the same things over and over again and so on. Some of his behaviours I have honestly equated to mental torture. A drip, drip effect. Plus he is way too much into screen time and I feel guilty as hard to keep him off the screen if I am taken up with breastfeeding or otherwise tending to baby. There have been some very stressful days with both of them and I have always quite literally counted the hours till my husband came home.

Looking back, leaving him in nursery 4 days has been the right decision for us as a family as well as my own mental health and well being.

Hope this helps.

Mine continued to go 2 dpw but I had some family help on two other days. So only one full day a week by myself with both kids

Thanks for your insights, it's nice ti know it's not a bad thing to leave DC1 in daycare fir a few days, I was feeling a bit guilty... We also don't have family close by so it's just DH and me, first few months pp would be hard with a toddler in tow 24/7

This won't be an issue for us because we intentionally waited until the 1st was in school to have #2. But it would have depended on finances. I couldn't have afforded to pay for nursery while on mat leave, so wouldn't have been possible to keep her in. But if I could have afforded it, I definitely would have kept her in part of the week. She loves it and it's been such a good experience for her and I would have wanted one on one time with baby the way I had it with her. So I think really just depends on if you want to and if you can afford it.