Pregnant with 2nd child - tips to handle jealous 1st born

[user1473602935]

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and have a very jealous toddler

She gets very upset if me or DH hold another baby, or even an animal!

We've been talking about her baby brother, saying she'll be a big sister etc, and will get a present for her from the baby

Are there any other tips I should be doing to prepare her or when baby arrives to help the transition?

Congratulations on your pregnancy! We have three DC. I think its definitely a good idea to buy your DD a presemt from the baby. We read "There's a house inside my mummy" and "Za za's baby brother" a lot before the births. Once your baby's here, if at all possible see if he can be in a crib next to you when your DD first meets him, rather than in your arms-also I did a lot of talking to the baby about their big brother/sister within earshot of the older one about what a fantastic big sibling they were-baby gets the benefit of you interacting with them while older one can hopefully understand what's being said. Good luck!

I liked this article too:
www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/pregnancy/prepare-your-child-for-new-baby

How old is your dd?

Great idea about the present, definitely helped us. Also a great idea about baby being in a crib for "first contact"! We put the present in the crib. It does make a bit of a difference as indubiousbattle asks about your dd's age in that we kept our almost 3 year old dd involved with her baby sister, I.e fetching nappies, wipes, muslin, baby needs cuddles etc etc & a lot of that would be dependent on how old your dd is in what she can actually do to help. We also encouraged them to be "allies" in that baby sister has just said big sister needs Now they're inseparable and are constantly giggling together and hugging. You'll be fine, we all find our own way. All the best with everything.

Siblings without Rivalry is short and helpful

We let DS1 lead the way in the amount of contact he had with DS2. We asked if he wanted to meet the baby - he did, so he saw DS2 in his cot, and that was it for day 1. If he hadn't wanted to, I would have left it until he was ready. Over the first week he became slightly more interested and tactile, but we never told him to kiss or cuddle DS2, all in his own time. He is his little brother's biggest fan now. Like pps, I big up DS1 to DS2 loudly all the time: you are so lucky to have such an amazing big brother etc. Wow wasn't DS1 fast down that slide etc. We tell DS1 how much his younger brother loves him, and point out how much he makes the baby laugh. We also read a lot of books like There's a House inside my Mummy.

Don't tell ds1 that you can't do something for him because of dc2 eg you are feeding the baby, ds1 wants to show you something in the other room aim for stalling, I'd love to see that, will be there in a minute; I used to get quite creative with excuses just always careful not to blame dc2 for being unavailable if at all possible.

I have a week old newborn and taking it slow seems to be working. No expectations about cuddles or interest and doing your best to balance their needs. We don't have cute family photos or first cuddle, but we do have a less jealous older sister.

At one point I was heading to the kitchen when dd2 started crying, I came back in and in earshot of dd1 said "sorry dd2, I had to check dd1's dinner first, I can feed you now".

Dd1 perked up, her needs were being put in front of the interloper's.

I think the age really matters ds was 19 months when dd was born and although he could be quite jealous pre dd he adapted immediately and just fell in love with her. I think it would be trickier with a 3.5 years old. Top tips:

• No encouraging or cajoling cuddles/kisses/pictures
• we didn't go for a present from dd but I scoured nct/table top sales and charity shops for little bits and pieces, just books, little jigsaws etc and used them and ds mini gifts for when I was feeding dd.

-Be prepared for a bit of regression. Ds had always been equally happy for either me or dp to dress him, brush his teeth etc but for a week or so he wanted me to do it.I always did, even if it meant feeding the baby then leaving her crying with her dad for a bit.

• I didn't do too much of the 'big brother' thing. I found ds wanted to be babied more for a short while (he wanted to be fed having fed himself for ages), we went with it and it passed. He was very young though, at 3.8 he responds well to being a "big brother".

This is worth a read.

m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/10531422

Also, encourage visitors to pay attention to eldest. Everyone will be excited to meet new baby, but some will need reminding to make a fuss of toddler as well. The best visitors bring gifts for big bro/sis too!

Hiya! I had a 2yr old when I fell pregnant with my first, all I can advice is make them feel as much involved as possible. Children like to think there helping out! (Even if they do get in our way sometimes). Good luck everything will be fine and fabulous. Xx