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Will the screaming stop?

5 replies

Lucinda15 · 21/08/2017 09:55

I have a 5yo DS and an 11week old DD. DD has been thru the mill a little bit, we've had a steady flow of issues to deal. She had an undiagnosed tongue tie led to my stopping breastfeeding after 3 horrible weeks which I am devastated about. Once on formula she showed signs of dairy allergy so we were back and forth to hospital trying to find a suitable milk. Strangely the allergy symptoms seemed to have cleared up so we are back on comfort formula. She had her first round of immunisations couple of weeks ago. And last week we finally had her tongue and lip tie diagnoses and released.

Im feeling absolutely exhausted and run ragged with her and everything that's halpenned. Particularly the emotional strain and disappointment of the undiagnosed tongue tie which I suspected all along. I desperately wanted to breastfeed and am so sad we couldn't. And feel guilty for the troubles she has had on formula because of it. I also feel guilty for and struggling to look after my 5yo who I am really missing - I'm with him, but all my attention seems to have been taken up with DD. When DH home we make sure I have some 1-2-1 time with DS but I still miss him and our usual routine and feel sorry for him that his summer holidays have been crap.

DD wakes up in good spirits but then generally starts screaming and crying till bed time. She won't be put down, so I'm always holding her. I've tried slings which have worked for a day or so but now she just wriggles bad cries in those too. She generally won't settle for anyone else other than me. I can't get anything done round the house, and don't get me wrong, ive long since given up trying to do house work or anything. But I can't even brush my teeth or go to the loo. I dread going in the car anywhere because she screams in the car seat all the way from A-B. I'm so fraught with it I am beginning to carastrophise and wonder if there is something wrong... maybe the TT release was a botched job (her check up was dine tho), or maybe she is dairy allergic after all and it's making her miserable even tho no other symptoms anymore, or maybe the jabs have upset her, or maybe it's teething come early.... Or maybe all of the above as I know it's all a lot for her to deal with. But it dsnt seem to be getting any better. Her sleeping at night has got worse. It's like we are dealing with a newborn again.

a friend said maybe this is just her being a baby, and I just need to ride it out. But I'm miserable and she is miserable and I don't know if this is normal. Does anyone else's baby do this??

We have a couple of nights booked away this week to take DS to a couple of theme parks, no fairground rides, just leisurely ones to wander round. I'm thinking of staying behind with DD because I'm so fed up and worried she will ruin it for us all and I want him to have a good time. But I'm desperate to go with and do something fun as a family. Just can't see how it will work.

Please someone tell me it will get better? Sad

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ApplesTheHare · 21/08/2017 12:30

Aw, it will get better! My dd was like this. I remember ringing my mum and sister and asking if I'd ever be able to put her down Blush

How was your ds as a baby? Do you remember him going through different phases?

Banania · 21/08/2017 12:33

Yes it will. Promise. My second sounds very similar to your baby, right down to the steady stream of issues and me catatrophising.

It's so so hard but you just need to get through it. As long as you have no expectations that anyone besides your ds will have a good time on your trip away, maybe still go? You'll be glad you did it for him and he won't remember the screaming!

Have you tried a dummy? If not please, please do try one. Around now can be the perfect time to introduce them and it might just help everything.

Banania · 21/08/2017 12:36

It sounds like she has reflux too which will be made worse in the car seat. Bitter experienceHmm

Making sure she's not too hot and again, a dummy, could help significantly with car journeys.

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ripa81 · 21/08/2017 22:08

My baby had the similar issue when he was 15 weeks old and the only thing settled him was babies magic tea.

Lucinda15 · 22/08/2017 19:35

Thank you everyone! Good to know it's not just my baby that behaves like this!

We have actually been to the doctors today as I was at my wits end and catastrophising about various reasons for the screaming; one being a botched tongue tie release causing nerve damage, or an undiagnosed milk allergy (which consultants have already pretty much ruled out!). Everything seems fine with the tongue tie wound. But she does apparently have thrush (which I had when breastfeeding during the first 3 weeks and which GP's said at the time she didn't have Hmm). So we have started treatment today and she does actually seem much calmer. I am unsure it is the magic answer to all our problems, not entirely convinced it would be the cause of quite so much unhappiness and screaming but it's a start! I have actually seen some lovely smiles and giggles from her today which id nearly forgotten looked like, and we even managed to make a 15 minute car journey in near silence! (Only started crying in the last few minutes!) fingers crossed on the up! We have decided to postpone our trip away, just till next week to ease the pressure and allow ourselves and her a bit more recovery time mentally! Lol. Oh and yes, dummies are the way forward, have been using them since quite early on. But since the tongue tie release she had refused it which was so frustrating! She seems to be taking it more now which is relief! X

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