Is this normal behaviour for 11yo, or should I worry?

[ladymadonna]

DSD (11) has always been a bit obsessive about food, but recently seems to have got much worse. It seems that all she thinks about is how she is going to get hold of sweet food. I?m constantly finding sweet wrappers under her pillow and she often sneaks food from the kitchen. She has also been known to set alarms in the night so that she can take food without anyone knowing. DP has always been very strict about the intake of junk food and sweets are usually only allowed on a Saturday, which has become ritualistic! He also rewards good behaviour with sweet food and takes it away for bad behaviour which I have always felt very uncomfortable about. Is this normal behaviour for 11 yo? I?m really worried about where this may end up.

he punishes her by taking food off her?

well, yes, I shoudl imagine she does have a problem, and he appears to have caused it. An 11 year old girl is not a dog.

I may have made that sound worse than it is. He punishes her by stopping her having sweets/ crisps/ cakes etc. Not meals or healthy food.

Has she started her periods yet? Sounds like it could be hormones maing her crave sweet stuff, although I do agree that regualting what sweet stuff she does eat so drastically, could make her rebel. Using sweets as treats for good behaviour - not a good idea. What about building up points for good behaviour and then go to the cinema or something similar.

no, if it was meals it would be abusive, as it is he might be lucky to get away with giving her an eating disorder - she sounds borderline NOW

I think you already knwo the answer to this don't you?

It is all there in the OP!

The question is how are you going to tackle your DH???

Had conversation with DP yesterday putting less emphasis on food. Sure he doesn't really understand what effect this is having on her but has agreed to give it a go. I just worry that the damage has already been done. I so worried about her.