I am pregnant with my first baby, due in December. Went out for lunch with my MIL who announced "I've got all my equipment". We asked "pardon?". Her: "I've just bought a travel cot, toddler rocker and baby bath".
She now has more baby equipment than we do.
She has three other grandchildren, who are all now primary school age. Two of them stayed almost every weekend from practically birth to give DSIL a break. I think MIL is expecting that of DD too.
The thing is, DSIL was practically a single mum, and was very close to her mum. But DH and I are both in agreement that we don't intend to let our child do sleepovers at hers. She smokes heavily, lives in a tiny damp bungalow with a dog and two cats. She's also disabled and has many conditions which mean that she can't clean it properly. Neither of us like going there.
On top of this, because she spends so much time housebound, she has lots of internet friends. Last week she took 8yo niece to meet someone IRL, and has done this a few times, to give the niece a day out during the holidays. I don't feel that MIL is a good judge of character and while an adult meeting someone online is fine, telling young girls that it's ok too I disagree with.
DH made it clear today that we won't be putting in as many visits as the nieces, but are happy for her to visit our house, and likewise visit hers for a few hours in the daytime.
I'm now waiting for the "but I bought a travel cot etc. which I don't get to use!" guilt tripping.
Has anyone else had to navigate an overeager MIL before? Any tips? Presumably I can try to BF for as long as possible, so can't be without DD for a night.
Thanks!