Uneasy about new "friend"

[Snootydoop]

OK, so I was at the doctors with LO the other day, and this other mum with her child started talking to me. It became clear that she was having a stressful day, and she'd had a very hard pregnancy and delivery. Lots of developmental concerns about her kiddo, etc. Well she seemed quite lonely and so was a bit full on. She gave me her number and I texted her mine.

Anyway yesterday she ended up with a medical situation, I came with her to help her look after her son during the appointment, and invited them over for dinner after (as I figure when you're sick you don't want to cook)!

I feel super cautious around her though. Her child is lovely. But she seems to have a history of bad relationships, an ex who was in prison, and she just doesn't seem to have the same personality type as my partner and I.

I keep feeling super cautious and a bit freaked out by it all. But I have a history of anxiety and PTSD, so I don't know if I'm worrying over nothing? I don't want to get pulled into association with someone who isn't safe for my child. I also don't know how to limit contact at this point or manage the situation. She seems very lonely and I don't like the idea of another mum feeling so isolated. At the same time, I'm worried I'll be overstretched, and I don't want an icky feeling when I hang out with her, it sets my anxiety on edge. Can anyone offer advice about how to manage this situation please?

This all seems rather intense very quickly. I think that's why you feel uneasy. Plus you have invited a total random stranger to whom you have no connections at all into your house. Most friends have links to other friends or groups or schools that we or DCs attend. If not, I think it's usual to get to know someone a bit better before inviting them home. I think subconsciously you know that and that's why you feel anxious

I'd be unavaikable for a bit. That might seem mean but my vjew js that there are lots of sad situations in the world but it's not role to solve them. My first priority is my own family/DC

You've gone from total strangers to "close friend" territory in a really short time. I think your generosity in helping her out and inviting her for supper is commendable but I would feel anxious about the whole situation too. I think if she wants to meet up again make it somewhere neutral like a playground or coffee shop. But don't feel bad about backing away a bit.

I would trust your gut. Honestly, I wouldn't expect anyone to come to a medical appointment with me and invite me over with dinner unless they were family or a very, very close friend I'd known a long time. It sounds like a really intense situation and like there aren't appropriate boundaries in place, especially given you don't really even seem to have anything in common and you said she isn't someone you'd usually be friends with. I think distance yourself and she'll likely go away and latch on to someone else.