Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Worried my baby will forget who I am

19 replies

Eskimo16 · 20/08/2017 11:35

If you went back to work full time did you baby forget you or start to not like you anymore. I'm so scared my baby won't recognise me and won't evem smile at me when I see her like she does now.

I'm going back to work fulltime when my beautiful baby girl will be 6months old. She will be at daycare for 3 days and with dad at home 2 days. I can't work part time as my salary is higher and we need the money.

I am looking forward to work because I really like my job but I am worried my baby will forget me and will start to prefer others over me. I am weaning her off the breast now too so losing another closeness. Hoping to hear some reassuring stories from others on how it all went with returning to work.

Thanks x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Swearwolf · 20/08/2017 11:39

Of course she won't forget you. You'll still be there before and after work, evenings and weekends. I found that when I went back to work it made the days I had off even nicer. Could you keep the bedtime feed rather than weaning completely?

tribpot · 20/08/2017 11:42

I'm laughing but not in a mean way. Have a giant OF COURSE NOT. I completely understand why you're worried but this absolutely will not happen. Assuming you grew up in a house where your dad worked and your mum stayed at home, did you forget your dad and start to not like him? No.

I went back to work when my ds was 5 months old. He stayed at home with dad, and then later went to a childminder. It was hard - everything about parenting is hard, basically. Nowadays (ds is 12) I feel bad that I can't take the whole summer hols off with ds - I work from home and I'm in the middle of working right now - but that's how it goes. Ds and I are very close, and every summer we have an amazing holiday just the two of us. When he moans that I'm working too much, I point out we wouldn't be able to go on that holiday (or indeed pay the mortgage, eat any food etc) if I didn't.

You will be fine. We're all making compromises to find the right solution for our families. There is no perfect solution, we just all do our best.

Dina1234 · 20/08/2017 11:42

She'll probably like you more actually. I'm at home full time so my DSs take me for granted (I don't mind obviously, I'm glad that they do but it's sweet how excited they are when DH gets home).

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old 6-9 months old Babies & sleep Families

ineedamoreadultieradult · 20/08/2017 11:45

She absolutely won't forget you. Both of mine went into full time nursery at 6 months old 5 days a week from about 8:30 to 5 each day. They did not forget me or prefer the nursery staff over me. They enjoyed going and had lots of fun but they equally enjoyed me picking them up. I found I could be more of a fun mum during the evening's/weekends because I had that time away from just being 'mum' and was able to be just me at work which I missed when I was off work.

Ikabod · 20/08/2017 16:32

I went back to work full time when DD was 10 months old (so a bit older but not by too much). She loved it (still does) and didn't forget who I was! She enjoys nursery far more than I enjoy work, but as PP said, the cuddles you get at pick-up time are the best!

hidingmystatus · 20/08/2017 17:50

My DD went to full time nursery from 3 months. She didn't forget either of us. Don't worry. Just enjoy it when you get home and see her.

user1493413286 · 20/08/2017 18:55

I've been having the same panic as OP so it's really reassuring to hear everybody's stories.
Also OP I was in full time childcare throughout my childcare and it's the childminders I think of when I think about my childhood.

FartnissEverbeans · 20/08/2017 19:36

DS has been in nursery since he was five months and I can hardly go to the toilet these days without him hanging off my leg.

It'll be fine, honestly. I hated the thought of it as well but it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. DS loves nursery but is delighted to see us at home time.

tissuesosoft · 20/08/2017 19:40

DP works 60 hours weeks with a mixture of day and night shifts. He leaves the house before she gets up and comes home after she's in bed. Then for night shifts he comes home after she goes to Childminder's and leaves before she comes home. But he is her absolute favourite person! I work part time so FaceTime him when he's on lunch and I'm off etc. I think that being apart cements their bond and when he is she only has eyes for him

Elledouble · 20/08/2017 19:43

My son went to nursery at 12 months old and I cried my eyes out thinking he wouldn't love me any more. He's been going over a year now and he still clings to me at drop off time! I don't usually pick him up but when I do he shouts "MUMMY!" and runs over to hug me

He does enjoy nursery though.

eurochick · 20/08/2017 19:44

I went back to work full time at 6 months. My daughter definitely still knows who I am! She has a lovely and equally close bond with my husband. And she has a great relationship with our nanny. It will be fine. Honestly. X

sunfloweras · 20/08/2017 19:45

Went back pt 6 months and ft 7 months. Dd definitely didn't forget me. I did long hours and didn't always see her everyday in the evening but always said bye in the morning. Was fine. Babies are a lot more clever than you're giving them credit for. Not to mention you have 'mummy smell' and that will remain and your face will still be important to her
I've never heard of a baby forgetting their dm because they worked. Good luck going back it can be amazing and hard all at the same time

PotteringAlong · 20/08/2017 19:49

All of the above. Also, you don't have to wean her off breastfeeding if you don't want to. I went back to work full time when my eldest was 9 months old and breastfed him until 18 months - my supply coped with mornings / evenings (and overnight, he was a v bad sleeper ) and in the day at weekends,

user1471453601 · 20/08/2017 19:50

I gave birth in the bad old days when maternity leave reached the hights of six whole weeks. As a single parent, I had to go back to work. DD never ever "forgot" me. Neither did it affect our relationship. We are still v v close 46 years later.

Try not to worry (easier said than fine, I know), your child will always know you

MarciaBlaine · 20/08/2017 19:53

I went back to work when dd was 5 months old. She is 13 now. She has absolutely no memories of the 2 years she spent at that crèche. She has always remembered who her parents are. As long as YOU are happy with the provision your have chosen, it will be fine. honest

MarciaBlaine · 20/08/2017 19:56

Having been through all that. They need YOU more later on imho. End of Primary/Start of Secondary. Little babies need food and cuddles.

BeyondThePage · 20/08/2017 20:00

I thought you were going to say you had a 6 month overseas posting with the forces or something. They will still see you EVERY day - so no, they will not forget you etc.

OuchLegoHurts · 20/08/2017 20:01

Ha! Sorry for laughing but babies can't forget their mothers! Your face, voice, smell etc naturally create a bond of recognition!

Original poster

Eskimo16 · 21/08/2017 00:22

Aw thank you everyone for your replies, I was feeling quite down about it but feels like I can stop worrying about it. I know it might have sounded silly and I smiled when I read some of your responses.

Also, I'll try to keep doing the morning and evening feeds but I thought my milk would taper off pretty quickly...

Thank you so much :)

OP posts:

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread