How would you handle this behaviour?

[Apostolism]

DS is 5 and has a TERRIBLE temper. It's been really getting my down and finding it hard to deal with. Especially as recently it has resulted in raging at and attacking friends. Not unprovoked to be fair but definitely not a reasonable reaction.

We've talked about it a lot and the past two days he has made a really notable effort to keep it under control which must be very very hard. We were with some friends today and they were teasing him a bit (nothing major but not very nice). Usually this would blow up and he'd be crying and screaming and grabbing at them etc. Today he took himself off and was just sad somewhere else and then I went and chatted to him to help sort it out. He's been really lovely all day and obviously making a massive effort.

So my question is do I do something to try and really reward this effort and behaviour or just talk about it and praise him lots? Or not make a big deal?

Also any tips for managing it in general VERY much appreciated.

I don't think he should be rewarded, but I do think you should talk to him A LOT about his behaviour, good and bad.

My 6 year old son has quite a temper too. Probably don't have the answers, but when he gets cross, and I can see he wants to fly into a rage of hitting out, or throwing stuff or whatever, I just remind him to think about it. Ask him what he's doing. And mostly, he will come out of it and do an embarrassed sort of smile and his action is a lot less aggressive. Sometimes, we will tell him to breath. Or ask him if he'd like to calm down in the garden. It doesn't always work, but I think it does most of the time. Especially when we ask him to think about what he is doing.

Oh, and I never reward him for claiming himself down. I might use a previous time as an example when trying to get him to calm down again. But not reward him.