Feel like a louse

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I'm really struggling to wean my 1-year old dd. She likes to breastfeed and nurse when she wants a nap or comfort and I feed her to sleep. She has teeth now so nursing is incredibly painful and my nipples are actually starting to come away from my boob and she has exposed raw flesh. Not deep but enough to hurt like hell. She's shocking at sleeping anyway and she's been fighting sleep since 8.30pm tonight. So eventually she's tired and I've lain her down and given her a feed but I'm in too much pain to let her nurse. I tried stroking her back, kissing her fingers, talking to her but she was just getting more and more upset and angry. And louder. I just feel awful. I mean, I do want to wean her but I hate seeing her upset and I end up getting upset. Her dad has not long taken her off me and she has now calmed down. So now I feel shit that I'm not able to let her nurse and I can't even soothe her. She's at nursery three days and doesn't seem to miss nursing. It's only when I'm around that she wants to be permanently attached to me.

Does anyone have any advice on how to gently wean or reasurrance that I'm not completely rubbish. I actually feel jealous of DH that he's managed to get her to sleep without nursing and in her own cot and in her own room too! Sorry for rambling. Just feel like crap.

I think when you get to the point your nipples are hanging in shreds it is fine to stop you are doing the right thing imo let her dad sort her for a few nights and hopefully she will be ok. How 1 is she ? Will she take a cup to drink goung to sleep

I know. And I know it's time to wean but I feel awful when it's me causing her to be really upset and probably confused. She won't take a bottle but she will drink from a sippy cup. I tried to not feed her to sleep once before and she wouldn't take the sippy cup. And she became hysterical and I ended up feeding her and she was asleep in 5 mins! Definitely going to see if dad can do a bedtime and see what she is like with him.

Teeth shouldnt make BF painful i imagine she has a lazy/shallow latch & you could fix that by ensuring she opens wide to latch (maybe shift her position a bit I always find about that age the change in back length means i need to get used to their bottom being further away ). A BF group could help.

Personally i would fix her latch even of you continue to wean. But if you go cold turkey be careful that you dont get engorged etc

She associates you with BF for sleep so is confused why that has changed (& she can probably smell the milk!) she doesnt associate daddy with BF so accepts other comfort. You are not rubbish! (Also less BF may be making your hormones funny & makes everything harder!)

Thank you. She had tongue tie when she was born. I wonder if it stems from that. To be honest, actual bf-ing doesn't hurt so bad, it's the nursing. She's never had a dummy apart from me and she doesn't unlatch, she just turns away from me with my nipple still in her mouth and it sttetches and comes out her mouth. We've got so many bad habits. I think I'm going to get her dad to do bedtime I think even though I like that time with her. Won't go cold turkey although at the moment she only breastfeed about 3 times a day but sometimes it's maybe less and other times it's slightly more. I did want her to self wean (within reaaon) and she is getting there. It's bedtime and through the night she likes to bf and nurse.

Sorry just seen your reply. The twisting is breaking the latch moving your nipple from the soft part in the roof of her mouth. You need to get some nursing manners back see kellymom or there is an excellent book called mothering your nursing toddler.

I wonder if she has a very high need to suck - my first did (& at 9 is still a dedicated thumb sucker ) & after lots of research I concluded that maybe the tongue tie had meant she didnt get to smooth/flatten the roof of her mouth in utero/as small baby.

I hope things are getting easier. Depending on whether she is a 1 nearly 2 or a just 1 you might have luck teaching her that breasts sleep overnight too

She turned one last week. I bought nipple shields to see if that would help but she felt it on her lip and she was hysterical. She was in such a state that her breathing was ragged and jerky. I ended up gritting my teeth and giving her the less painful boob and she was asleep in about 15 minutes. I just don't know how to gently wean her. Is there such a thing as gentle, tear-free weaning??

You really need to fix the latch. During the day detatch her (break seal with wet little finger)every time her latch is crap & show her a big open month. Only latch when she shows you a big mouth. Are you treating your nipples at all? I always found/find breast milk left to air dry the best thing, friends swear by lanosul (sp?!?!) But i'm allergic to lanolin, or moist wound healing pads. BF cafe /support group will help you they will support you to wean if that's what you want.

don't offer dont refuse is the most gentle method, cold turkey the least - there are lots inbetween jack newman has great night time weaning advice. Actually you might find his latch videos helpful too.

Mine self weaned/still bf so i dont know much about early weaning (did night wean ds about age 2 as he was a horror) although getting pregnant nearly always works possibly extreme.....

I've got Lansinoh on now but even in the shower this morning, it was so painful when the water touched my nipples. I'm so disappointed the shield was a disaster as I would have been happy to carry on until she self-weaned (within reason). Will definitely watch those videos you mentioned. It's the bedtime feed she's refusing to give up and she's still waking through the night for feeds. 4 times again last night. I try just using the less sore one but she empties it and gets upset when nothing comes out so then I have to use the cut one (there's actually a hole exposing raw flesh where my nipple meets my boob) to feed her. I think I'm just going to have step back and let her dad try putting her to bed. That's one less feed for me to worry about at least! x

Ouch!
Is it healing? Ask GP or practice nurse to have a look if not. The moist healing things like this www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B01FDTH9LA/ref=mp_s_a_1_4_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1503418267&sr=8-4&keywords=moist+healing&tag=mumsnetforum-21 really work.

Probably not helpful but i always found that at that kind of age mine replaced any BF they didnt have in the day by feeding more overnight (i think they needed the milk but were too distracted by the shiny world) so extra day feeds (if i remembered) would reduce the night ones. Also if you cosleep put daddy next to her so she's not smelling your milk (or turn your back but i cant sleep that way until they're well over 2 but i dont onow why!).

Good luck. You're doing a great job

Why does the link have a mumsnet bit? Do they always do that?! off topic

It does start to heal and then I feed her from it and it opens up again. Those breast pads look great - I've just ordered some! Tonight could be rough. Hubby said he would try putting her to bed tonight. In her own room and her own cot. I don't think she'll take too kindly to that somehow. Everyone keeps telling me to toughen up but she's still so baby like in some ways. You've been so helpful waddle. Thank you. x

you're very welcome.
Hope bedtime went ok & you are healing up!
She's one she IS still a baby

I've given up trying to wean her at night for now. We had a couple of bad nights where she ended up completely hysterical (there was teething involved though) and we both ended up really upset. She doesn't bf through the day so I'm healing a little and I only get pain when she first latches. Once she's actually feeding, it's not too sore. And yes, she is still only little and I do love that time with her.