Unbothered sister

[leah167]

Hello
So my sister has been off with me since telling her I was pregnant. She got worse and worse with me until she didn't even speak to me. She doesn't have any children of her own and her husband is nearly 20 years older and has is own child whose 13 years old with previous wife.
I addressed the situation when I was pregnant and her reason for not speaking to me was because she thought I was being selfish and naive to have the baby even though when I first found out she said said she would support me no matter what decision I made.
My son is now 6 weeks old and she NEVER sees him.
My son is the first grandchild on both sides of the family.
She said she's busy with work but surly family comes first?
I'm not at all saying anybody should buy my son anything but sometimes it's nice when it's something little to know they thought of him, she hasn't bought him anything personal as in something to acknowledge him, like a piece of clothing or something.
I'm not sure if maybe it's because I'm younger and my partner is my age and we're at the same phase in our life where else her and her partner are not even in the same generation!
Im honestly just really upset and I don't know what I've done wrong, but breaks my heart she's not bothered with my son, her first nephew!
Just needed to get it out my system as it's been bothering me for awhile 🙄

Maybe she wants her own children but can't? Or is genuinely really busy with work?

When you say she never sees him, is that literally? How many times has she seen him since he's been born?

I thought that but She can have children as she was pregnant before so it rules that out, she works for her father in law and with her husband understand work but she has weekends and after work. She only works 5 minutes from my house. Asked to see her after her Zumba class but apparently it was to out of her way lol
She came over twice the week he was born and after that nothing 😞

Did she actually have a baby?

She had the pregnancy terminated unfortunately

So it's possible that she's struggling wit her little sister having a baby when she wants one. Just because she conceived once doesn't mean she will again.

Anyway, it could that she doesn't like babies or she's really busy. You're probably best talking to her in a non-accusatory way and trying to find out if there's anything going on.

That was quite along time ago. With another guy

Will give that a go, thank you!:)

I agree with PPs that it sounds like she's finding it difficult to deal with either because she is feeling regret about the termination or because she wants children herself but can't have one - maybe her partner is dead set against having another.

It's also easy to forget that although your world revolves around your new baby, especially since it's your first, everyone else still has other things to do and worry about.

Either way I wouldn't take it personally. Just give her space and enjoy your new ds.

Maybe she would love to have a baby but her dh doesn't want another. Or they are having trouble conceiving.
Maybe she has unresolved issues from the termination.
There are a few possibilities that she might be struggling to see you and your baby.
Or maybe she just isn't interested, or is judging your situation. You mentioned that she said you were irresponsible to have a baby (although this could be due to issues as above).
Are you close? Do you get on well? What do you think?
It must be hurtful though, you are so happy and in love with your baby and you want to share this joy with your sister.

She might not be that interested in babies, she may have chosen not to have any and has a full life of her own, people are busy.

You also don't need to buy things to show you are thinking of someone.

You sound a bit mean and self absorbed.

Before I had my own, I didn't have much interest in other people's kids, energy within the family, didn't mean I didn't care.

Maybe she isn't into babies and therefore doesn't understand the importance of this to you? If you don't communicate to her that you would like to see her more often, she won't know.

6 weeks is not a long time. I wouldn't visit a relative's baby more than a couple of times in that time period.

Maybe she's just not that into babies. Some people aren't. He's your son, so he's important to you, but to other people he's just another baby. Cut your sister some slack. She has her own life.

For her reaction to be so strong, it does suggest private pain about her abortion or that she secretly wants a baby and her partner doesn't.

Is the baby's dad on the scene OP? Is that what she means by irresponsible?

If you were close and involved before then the most likely reason is that it has stirred up issues for her.

Only solution is to gently talk to her, but you may be met with hostility. Congratulations btw