Was I a mean mum?

[Thebfg75]

Looking for opinions about whether I've been a bit mean to ds today?
Background. Ds is 5, he has a bad habit of helping himself to small items, putting them somewhere else then "forgetting" where they are. Objects like necklaces, credit cards, bath plug, remotes.... So stuff that causes a problem if it gets lost.
It frustrates me as we're constantly hunting for something that's "lost" and ds will take a quick glance around, declare that he can't find it and refuse to get involved in the search. We regularly have friends/family ringing after a visit saying "can you please ask Sam where he put xxxx ?" Which is mortifying.
I've talked about it and given consequences until I'm blue in the face but he just "forgets"

Anyway, today he had a DVD box set that his grandparents have lent him, he managed to lose one of the four dvd's and did his usual shrugging it off.
So I told him that he would search and tidy the whole house until it was found and nothing else was going to happen today until it turned up (tv, hobbies, snacks etc)
The thing was (and this is where I think I was a bit mean) whilst he was out of the room I did actually manage to find the DVD in a jigsaw box however, I didn't immediately tell him and encouraged him to search and tidy for a while afterwards.
At the point where I could see he was getting upset I did prompt him to tidy up his jigsaw, so he found it.... But I'm feeling guilty, should I have shouted him straight away that I'd found it?
I'm just so frustrated with the behaviour and feel like it doesn't matter to him because I always rescue him.
Any tips for dealing with this also appreciated. Thanks!!

Nope, you weren't mean. He needs to learn to leave stuff alone that doesn't belong to him.

I don't have any suggestions but it would drive me batshit and he'd be lucky to have made it to 5 😳😖

I don't think that was mean, you are just trying to help him realise that if he works at something he will achieve it. This is a valuable life lesson that he needs to gradually take on board, and will be of great benefit when he gets the hang of it (If you'd waited until he was distraught and sobbing then that would have been mean.)

No you didn't do anything mean.
You encouraged him to try and see how difficult it is to find things that he has put in random places.

Not mean i. The slightest!

No - you were helping him to learn a valuable lesson.

No, you weren't being mean. If he grows up thinking 'mummy will always tidy up the house/find things when I turn it into a shit heap', he'll grow up taking no responsibility for his own actions and will treat his partner like a servant.

No I don't think it was mean. It sounds like he needed to experience a consequence of moving/losing things to make him think twice next time if he is always doing it.

Thanks for the responses, that's great, I'll stop feeling guilty and hope he's learnt something from it.

No, I don't think you were mean. I'd have taken over though, as I'm too impatient. 😳

Exactly evil doctor, this is what I do.... If I know we need to find the disappeared item then I join in the search do it for him. Which is why he thinks it's no big deal because mummy rescues him

No I think you handled it much better than I would have! 😂